Flowchart Blogging

This is a "hello, it's been a while" post so it will have a wide breadth of topic and thin grasp on organization. I've created a flowchart to help you navigate it and make the most fruitful use of your time possible.

FLOWCHART!!!

Yes the flowchart is clickable, try it!

The Jump!
First off, I've messed around with our template code a little bit to make our blog just a bit more professional. The first change is that our template is now compatible with jump breaks. Follow the jump to read more!

Thoughts on the Weekend

As always, last weekend went by far too quickly. Of course, being alumni weekend, it went by even faster than usual. But what little time we had was jam packed with tomfoolery, debauchery, half-baked schemes, nostalgia, and just general fun.

At first it was strange walking around Northfield and Carleton but knowing that it was no longer my home. But as the weekend went on the familiar feelings consumed the unfamiliar, and I felt at home once again.

Despite not setting foot in the illustrious confines of Stadium 110, there was a lot to remind me of last year, and the years before it as well.

1. The meet itself. Despite being a year older and considerably more hung-over this year, the meet itself was the same as always, and the atmosphere embodied the spirit of my Carleton swimming memories.
2. The homecoming game. Beating the Oles (and winning in general) was much more reminiscent of last year than any of my other years. The near fourth-quarter meltdown was also mostly reminiscent of last year.
3. Video games. But I can't believe we never even thought about getting a Wii last year.
   
4. Lamenting the loss of the Carleton Penis.
   
5. Upper Dow party. This reminds me much more of my first two years when the swim team got scandalous in Dow. But the cast was nearly the same as last year at Stadium 110 parties.
6. Beating undergrads in Beirut (Thank you to the guy whose jacket I borrowed because I thought it looked lucky. It was lucky.)
7. The Cow, The Reub, Ho Bros, Basil's
8. First Mate Charlie

In response to Mark's post. I'd say that it's not necessarily the values of Stadium 110 that set us apart. It's the way we embrace them and claim self-entitled ownership of them. This may not sound like a good thing. But I honestly mean it in the best possible way.

By the way, this weekend was midway through the 7th lunar phase of The International Year of Stadium 110: The International Celebration.

My Summer as a Camp Counselor

My turn for a mid-summer "oh hello there, I still exist" blog post.

This summer I am working at a YMCA summer camp (or a "Cult Camp" if your name is Tim) in Western Michigan. After a week of orientation and two sessions, we take a week of for the week of July fourth. So until Saturday, I am back in the OP to relax with my HS friends, eat some delicious non-camp food, and rest up for what we call the marathon.

The marathon is 5 weeks straight with no extended break. Starting July 5th and going until August 10th. Yes, we do get some weekends off. But let me explain that a weekend off at camp only lasts from 5:00pm on Friday (when the last kid finally leaves and we have our staff meeting) to Sunday at 10:00am, when we have our start-of-the-session staff meeting. Not much of a weekend if you ask me (but when the kids are gone, the wonderful balance of mischief and relaxation is king). But the marathon is fun, and it when all the unorganized bullshit that exists in the beginning of the summer has been figured out.

It's been fun so far. I'm working with the teens this summer, so for the past two weeks, I was training 16 year olds how to be a counselor. In other words, what to do with kids who are homesick, vomiting profusely, or starting fights with other campers. But its a little more than that. There is a big child psychology aspect to it, which through teaching it to others, I have learned more about it myself.

One example is positivity. A child is less willing to respond to, "Don't leave that wet, sandy towel on the cabin floor." than to "Can you please pick up that towel off the cabin floor?" It may seem like a "duh" principle, but consider how often you say the words "no," "not," "stop," or "don't." It may surprise you. Try speaking in only positive terms for a day. If you are a lifeguard for example, say "Walk on the deck!" instead of "No running on the deck!" It's actually really tough. Or at least for me. I can never last more than an hour, but then again, I have to deal with kids who are doing stuff they aren't supposed to be doing practically my whole day.

I realize that my summer job is pretty untraditional. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I do more in the time from when I wake up (7:00am Michigan time) to when I go to bed (11ish) than many people do in a whole week. I also am outside for the whole day, except for when I am eating Breakfast, Lunch or Dinner, or sleeping. But thats not even true, I've been sleeping in a tent for the last 3 weeks. Being outside that much is good for the soul. And it means that I'm probably more tan than everyone except for our funemployed friend from Cali.

Elliot often told me last year that soon I will have to get a real job. That may not be the case... First off, for what I want to do with my life (teach), I don't really need an internship. And if the point of an internship is to get real-life experience in your field, being in charge of a dozen or so kids at a summer camp is fairly close to actual teaching. Plus, I'm climbing up the ladder at my camp. Some of the more administrative posts are opening up next summer, which opens up a new type of position and experience, to be sure. So maybe I'll just delay the real world for a few more years/summers. I know I get paid crap, but I don't really need the money at this time in my life and it's the most fun I've ever had.

That being said, every time "I Love You Always Forever," "Someone Great," "You've lost that Lovin Feeling," "Jumpin All Over the World," "White Collar Boy," Chromeo or The Go! Team comes on my iPod (thank you SadSteve), I get reminiscent of the past year and the epicness that was Stadium 110.

So I hope everyone reading this is doing well and that your summers are enjoyable.


Also, only a few will understand this: I brought Charlie to camp with me and I am carefully planning some big ol prank with him. So stay tuned.

First Mate Charlie: An American Hero

You might be wondering who this First Mate Charlie character is, since he has been mentioned in the Stadium 110-blog discourse so often. Well he is a good friend of ours who often stops by to hang out. But you may not have met him yet. Hopefully sharing my own experiences and interactions with Charlie will shed some light on your ignorance.

SO I first met First Mate Charlie on the night of BK's going away party. It was a blacklight-lit situation and so his garb looked even more out of place. He introduced himself as Charlie. I filled up his beer and went on my way.

About 30 minutes later, I hear loud shouting in our hallway. I go over and take a peek at what is going on, assuming that it is either some of the freshman acting like wild animals or maybe a fight over a spilled drink. What do I see when I finally find the source of the excitement? I see my newly acquainted friend, Charlie, with a typical bro in a headlock. I walked up to the situation, with a drunken curiosity, and asked what the problem was. Charlie says" the scurvy bloke" (his words, not mine) insulted the Captain. I had no idea what was going on, but without the blacklights on him, I finally realized that he was wearing a sailor's costume (or what I thought was a costume). The boy said he was just talking about how his mixed drink had a little too much Capt. Morgans in it. Charlie quickly rebutted, "You can never have too much rum." And with that, he dropped the little Dave Matthews Band-lovin kid on the floor and whipped out a bottle of what looked like rum, but didn't have a label on it, so I couldn't tell. He handed the bottle over to me and I took a swig, quelling my fears of odorless, tasteless, and colorless drugs.

Twas incredible. For the next 45 min, Charlie, who I later found out was a First Mate of a small ship that sails the great lakes, educated me in the ways of rum and of nautical themed alcoholic beverages. It was fascinating. Admiral Nelson, Capt. Morgan, Ron Diaz, Malibu, Cruzcan, The. List. Goes. On.

And then he was gone. Up and out - just like that. Probably went to off to sail a schooner in the cannon.

Now he left me a bottle of his own rum. And like I said before, its exquisite. I love me some rum, and when you give me some cherry cola and a bottle of F.M.C., I'll be good as gold.

We hope to have a party in his honor. We want to sail the 7 seas of Rum. Pirates and Sailors. If your interested in this theme, talk to me and we'll make it happen.

So if you see someone who looks like the picture above walking around campus, just send him over to Stadium because he's probably too drunk to realize what is going on. We'll take care of him.

Also, he sometimes runs around in onesie like mine. Be on watch.

NEW LIFE!

Kinda funny how this resurrection talk is happening around the easter season, eh?
Hm...
Jesus = reborn. Blog = reborn. Blog = Jesus?
It's okay for me to say that, because I years ago taught Sunday School to lil kids, and because Tim's mom is a minister and will save my soul... hopefully.


ANYWAYS! Here is a quick update on all things Stadium 110. Buckle your seatbelt. Here we go:

• THE SYNCHRO SHOW OCCURED. And it was a spectacular feat. But it took up a lot of time last week. Because of this, little blogging actually happened. Stay tuned, because we're gonna get it on youtube, and of course here first.
  
• THE ALEXANDERS WON THE POLL. To see the final results, once again, stay tuned. Seriously. It's gonna be great.
  
• Stadium (and I think its safe to say Carleton) is under siege. From what? SOME UNIDENTIFIED SICKNESS. My medical expertise says the plague. All I know is that Toto and I are the only ones completely not infected... Ted and Tim are unknown. And the rest are all dying or dead already.
• Easter Saturday also happened last weekend. If you don't know what this it is, you're missing out. There may or may not be a blog post explaining this wonderful and somewhat still new Carleton tradition.
• A NEW POLL IS COMING SOON! About a certain social event that Nonberg mentioned earlier.
• More drunk blogging is coming soon!
• First Mate Charlie has been stopping by a lot. If you haven't seen him around... I'm sure you will soon.
• Some informational/presentational posts on topics ranging from "How to Screw With Security" to "How to Drink for 12 hours Successfully."
  

Long story short, exciting times are here for the blog. So stay tuned for some spring fun!

Beer Drinking 101: Lesson 1 (Boxer Blogging)

The is the first installment of the new stadium 110 feature, Beer Drinking 101, team taught by Tim and Ted.

Lesson 1: The new toast.

"My M.O. is the new toast," says Tim (Note: M.O. are Mark's initials). So Mark Olson tonight invented a new toast (on his birthday) without even knowing or remembering it. This toast is all about efficiency.

Here are the steps:
1. Put the beer to your lips
2. Commence drinking
3. Move in for the toast
4. Clink drinking vessels, continue to drink
5. Continue to drink as long as you like

As you can clearly see, this toast is at least twice as efficient as a regular toast; the drinking begins before the toast and doesn't stop 'til you're good and drunk. Enjoy this maneuver the next time you're drinking.

Stay tuned for more Beer Drinking 101, the team taught drinking course by Tim and Ted.

P.S.: Johnny V. is a bitch (-Tim)
P.P.S.: I forgot (-Tim)
P.P.P.S.: Did we mention that we're drunk and in our boxers?
P.P.P.P.S.: Mark vomited in the Reub.
P.P.P.P.P.S.: The first drunk blog post of the term
P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: Original content bitches!

Airport Observations

In order of occurrence (edited as needed):

1. The conductor of the modified electric golf cart obesity mobile just referred to it as a "tram".
2. Two businessmen just walked by with matching pastel green ties.
3. My legs are going numb. This floor is hard.
4. It's always a little weird when you can't tell if a guy is with his wife or daughter... Isn't it?
5. Moving up in the world: I am now on a temporary stage that was probably used for some silly in-airport entertainment.
6. First Mate Charlie actually just walked past me.
7. Just received a call from USAir on my cell phone (wtf?). Automated voice with the following message: "This message is for Timothy. Your flight, 3194 to Portland, Maine, has been delayed. The delay time is seventy-eight minutes. Your flight will arrive in Portland at approximately 11:18pm." FML.
8. "Tram" driver just said "Beep-a-lee-beep!" I kid you not.
9. "Look. You have to make a decision. It's your decision. Either you go with your mom to get your haircut like Matthew, or you go with me! You make the decision. It's your choice. But you are going with either your mom or me to get your haircut like Matthew. You make a choice about who you want to go with. But, you're going. You are getting your haircut like Matthew. I will not tolerate your hair being long. If I see you with your hair long this weekend, you're not going to soccer. You make the choice."
10. Time for dinner and beer.
11. I am now at the Jet Rock Bar and Grill, Terminal B, Philadelphia International Airport. 43 beers on tap. Plenty of TVs. Classic rock in the background. Attempting to be both a sports bar and rock and roll nostalgia venue?
12. The song "Laid" by James is currently playing. Yes.
13. Anchor Brewing Liberty Ale: 22 oz.
14. SNPA (yes, Ted! Yes!): 22 oz.
15. Think I just overheard a bartender mention a Sham-Wow (Mark!). SHAM-FUCKING-WOW! (see graphic)
16. I didn't know the "trams" used headlights at night (inside an airport terminal, mind you). Until now. This one didn't "beep-a-lee-beep" though - they had a bicycle bell.
17. Interaction between me and waitress: "How you doin', baby?" "Good. Good." "You just let me know when you're ready, okay?"

Reflections on the term

I've yet to post anything meaningful to this blog (unless you count semi-political gossip meaningful) so I figured that I would try to add something that was at least more than two lines. Quantity = quality in my book, so I think an epic post comprised of reflections on the past term would be, at the very least, not boring.

BK and Marky Mark agree with me - winter term usually sucks. Ted didn't respond because of Call of Duty, but we'll just go ahead and say that he agrees with me as well. Winter term is pretty much guaranteed to suck. But, for some reason, or for a few different reasons maybe, this winter term did NOT suck. In fact, it was great. Furthermore, I think everyone in the Ocho would agree with me on this sentiment. Maybe it was even better than fall term (but certainly not better than this coming spring).

So why does winter term always suck? In no particular order:

1. It's cold out.
2. The days are shorter.
3. Everyone always seems to have more work (i.e. comps)
   
4. Nobody wants to go anywhere (see #1). This affects the social vibe on campus, and you get sick of people.
   
5. It's sort of like sophomore year - you're not close to being done, and you're not even excited about the novelty of being at school. You're stuck in the middle. It's like a Tuesday, but ten weeks long.
6. It's pretty damn chilly.

Why did this term not suck? Corresponding with the previous list:

1. It was really only cold one week this term. Granted, it got to about -40 with the windchill, and we couldn't really afford to go outside for any length of time. The rest of the time, it seemed like winter didn't really happen. We had some snow and that wasn't the best, but for the most part we just kinda chilled with 20 degree weather, played some hockey, badminton, etc and enjoyed ourselves. By we, I mean me. Everyone else here just swam all the time (but they don't think the term sucked either, so I think there's something to this).
2. The days were still shorter. That didn't change. But, maybe, just maybe, the beauty of the UV lights that were installed in Stadium 110 actually illuminated the dark days and made them feel longer, warmer, and brighter.
   
3. While a lot of people had work, it didn't seem to get in the way. Or if it did, we all seemed to have a different perspective on it. We did our work, then came back and chilled. Nobody got too stressed. Except maybe Ted. But Ted had a lot of work, so that's excused. And I guess Toto didn't really come back sometimes. And now he's sitting here playing Call of Duty so he's not stressed anymore.
4. While not wanting to go anywhere usually causes a problem, this wasn't an issue for The Ocho. The reasoning is simple: we lived with the people with whom we wanted to chill. Instead of having to trek across campus to go sip a brew, we stayed in Stadium and enjoyed the company of friends (and UV lights, bitches!).
5. While this winter term was like every other winter term in that it was in the middle of fall and spring, it felt different. Maybe it's that it's senior year and our time here is fleeting. Or maybe this term just didn't suck.
6. It wasn't that chilly, as established in #1.

Nonberg disagrees with my sentiments: "Winter term doesn't suck. It's what you make of it!" So, I guess maybe we just made good of winter term. Circumstances help.

Other highlights of winter term:

• First Mate Charlie
• Reinstallation of Tetris Attack
• Swimming
• Mark says UV lights again
• Conference Party
• Almost dying
• Midwinter Ball
• Black Lights, White T's, BK, Caribou Lou
• Starting the blog
• Prospect of Stadium seating
• Finishing comps
• TASTE THE RAINBOW ("this is the most fun I've ever had at Carleton!")

The Olson Manifesto

That’s right. A manifesto. I can hear the naysayers now, “A manifesto? Don’t you think that is a little extreme? A little ridiculous? I mean, Mark, you're no Karl Marx or the Unibomber or someone trying to promote humanism!” And I say, no. Not really. But Wikipedia says a manifesto is “a public declaration of principles and intentions.” So that’s what my first post is going to be – a statement of my principles and intentions in regards to this blog. Because I cannot speak for my fellow stadium dwellers… only for myself.

First off, I hope to share a little bit of what living in Stadium 110 is like to the greater Carleton community, nay the whole fuckin internet. Because some people only know the wonderful people who live under the bleachers. Others have been in the room due to our parties, but have no idea who we are. And some people just don’t know shit. So I’ll try to help ya’ll get a better sense of what living in a stadium next to the Ski Room (where we hide shit when we move our couches for a party), next to the cannon (where Alfredo and I saw two cats fighting TO THE DEATH), next to the cage (where we get huge), and under the bleachers (where I will one day get a wingsuit and jump off of and fly like Toto’s video below).

Secondly, I’ll be posting stupid, amusing, awesome, weird internet videos. In fact, I’ll post one right now. Here is a video called Adventure Time. I often tell people of how random some of shit that goes through my head is. Well, this is the world I wished I lived in; the world I see when I close my eyes at night. It’s 7 min long, but its so worth it. Enjoy. Also here is a link to some more info on the show in case you end the video with that “wtf?” thought in your head.

Thirdly, I guess I’ll be sharing some of my thoughts. And while often my thoughts will be related to youtube videos and talking about how annoying the guys upstairs are when they practice their ratatat and kanye west cover “band,” believe it or not, I do have other things to think about.

On the subject of principles… I believe few things are more important than being a badass, eating really yummy tasting food, and living a life of satisfaction. Take that how you wish.

So that’s me and my manifesto. Let’s give this blog the ol` college try.

Some things to look forward to:
-A Beginners Guide to First Mate Charlie
-A discussion on the consideration of turning the common room into a ball pit
-My thoughts on Chocolate and Peanut Butter
-Things Carleton need (besides a lighthouse)
-Cartoons Now and Cartoons Then