Poppin' these bottles

As I sit here and listen to the wise words of Wiz Khalifa "sayin' yeah", two things come to mind: 1) I love songs like "Say Yeah" and "Right Round" (by Flo Rida) because they inspire me to work hard so that one day I might have the ability to "throw that money in the air" or be able to "look at my Cartier" and realize its out of control, and 2) the last time I really, truly listened to the song "Say Yeah" was when we were all around for Spring Concert this past May. Needless to say, I miss you bros. There's already some whispers of planning going around for the Thursday before alumni weekend, and of course you are all invited to crash at the pad and debauch both yourselves and Uptown (or downtown) Minneapolis.

That said, thinking of the last time we all chilled makes me realize that a whole hell of a lot has changed in my life since we all last saw each other, and thus probably spoke, and therefore it's time for a LIFE UPDATE BLOGPOST.

After May, I continued to foreclose (with little shame) on the mortgages of the less fortunate until two days after July 4th. Then, inspired by the celebrations of America's independence, I too emancipated myself from the tyranny of a bank too big to fail, and within a week rushed off to Peru for what turned out to be the trip of a lifetime.

Peru deserves a post, or six, in itself, and that too shall come when I finally have the 3000 pictures that were taken by my family during the 2.5 weeks that we were in South America. However, I will give you a bit of a teaser (as I know you all await that post with bated breath). Basically, due to a combination of extremely good fortune and my mother's occupation as a minister, my family went to Peru to bond, explore Incan ruins, and generally chill out for a little over half a month.

My sister's previous travels had introduced her to a legit, real life, Incan medicine man who subsequently over the past 8 years has become one of her best friends. His family, native Quechuan (they still speak Quechua before Spanish!), basically guided us around Cuzco for the time we were there. While we hit up the ruins of Machu Picchu, Sacsayhuaman, Tambomachay, Pisaq, others, rode horseback through the mountains surrounding Cuzco, climbed Huayna Picchu, the highlight was our five day trek to Choquequirao.

Choquequirao is now what Machu Picchu was fifty years ago (but much larger in area) - discovered, not really accessible, only partially uncovered, minimally excavated. It's a site so little-visited that you can encounter things that literally have not seen daylight for 500 years. This place is unbelievable, and to be led by four guides who saw the trek we took as a religious pilgrimage was an absolutely insane experience. My family was incredibly lucky to get to experience such a trip, and I'm still amazed we got to go. Highlights of Choquequirao included swimming in the Apurimac River, riding horses through river valley/desert, camping on the farmland of sustenance farmers that are a two day hike from civilization (no electricity, running water, etc... eye-opening to say the least), the stars, and the food we had. I will flesh this all out with a later post, as promised, including pictures and whatnot. The scenery was absolutely unbelievable.

So, I got back from Peru on July 30, unpacked my dirty hiking clothes and Chacos that night, packed my dress shirts, suit, and tie the next morning, and flew to Chicago. From O'Hare, I was driven to The Q Center where I experienced a two-week crash course in learning to be a consultant. With class topics ranging from learning the consulting process to interviewing skills and business etiquette, I felt sufficiently confused at the end of the two weeks and really had no idea what I was getting myself into. After class each day, we all played beach volleyball and basketball, ate dinner (a dining hall! like college! except way better food!), and then usually went to The Clubhouse (the training center's bar). It was like adult summer camp, but I learned a ton!

Twelve days after arriving, I left - a changed man - somewhat ready to begin my consulting career. The weekend past, and I was in the office at 8:15am Monday morning, ready to meet my boss and begin work. The work I'm doing is interesting - consulting is basically an entire industry built on selling the brains of people to other companies. When a specific company wants help in doing something that has to do with business (anything, actually - a "business problem"), they can call a consulting company and the firm will send people who are experts in that situation to help - all for a fee! I work in under the umbrella of financial advisory, helping with things like operations efficiency, project management, optimizing processes, etc. I am (obviously) still learning, but it's suited to me. I will get to put my hands in lots of different industries as the years pass, and thus gain a ton of experience. I'm excited about all this. I know this explanation is vague, but whenever we see each other or chat I can elaborate.

So that brings us to present day. As I said, a lot has changed since May - new (interesting!) job, crazy trip to Peru, and (I forgot!) I also moved into a new apartment. Y'all better come see it in October.

If you read this and don't immediately exclaim "I'm in!"...

…then you can mail your Stadium Membership Card to 3707 Grand Ave S, Apt 202, Minneapolis, MN 55409 where it will be promptly destroyed.

Nonberg and I were chatting on Facebook earlier this evening (as we normally do), discussing my new profile picture. Nonberg remarked that it made him nostalgic for our college years. I concurred, explaining that I too missed college, Stadium, and life under the bleachers. And then something miraculous happened – one of us had perhaps the best idea that anyone in Stadium has had thus far. I don’t know whose idea it was, and frankly, I don’t care because it’s so damn good. Read further:

My friends, we’re going to go on a trip. Stadium style! Isn’t this crazy? A trip! We're doing this because we must begin to get together, as one, annually. If we don't, despite Facebook's existence, we will not stay in touch forever. Thus, we start a tradition and then we get to party together and relive our college days every year!

Through minimal discussion, we narrowed our options down to two. In spite of not conferring with any of you prior to this decision, we’re both confident that through a full Stadium discussion we would have all come to the same conclusion. So, we’re avoiding the discussion. Think of it kind of like that time we planned a party on a Tuesday – that was dumb, because we didn’t actually figure anything out. On Thursday, we got back to planning. And the party happened, and would have happened, in any case.

So, the options are:

1) The most populous city in Nevada… the seat of Clark County… The Entertainment Capitol of the World… the home of The Strip… Sin City… the city with the largest number of churches per capita in this beautiful country of ours… the unincorporated communities of Paradise and Winchester… the 28th most populous city in the U.S.,. 36°10′30″N 115°08′11″W… more popularly known as Las Vegas, Nevada.

2) The home of three ski resorts, including two that hosted skiing events at a recent Winter Olympics… a town that straddles the border between Wasatch and Summit counties… the home of the Sundance Film Festival, the U.S. Ski Team, AND the Australian Freestyle Ski Team… according the Forbes Magazine, one of the 20 prettiest towns in the country… 40°39′34″N 111°29′59″W… What town is this, you ask? Park City, Utah.

There are pros and cons to either of these options:
-Were we to travel to Park City, Nonberg has graciously offered us his house and transportation while we were there. This is incredible. If we went to Las Vegas, we would not have such luxuries. We would probably stay in shitty hotels and share beds. We would also probably rent cars if we wanted to get around (or steal a police car)

-Were we to travel to Las Vegas, we would be able to gamble, lose our concept of time, have access to a plethora of hookers, eat at expensive buffets, and watch the Bellagio fountains. However, contrary to popular belief, we would NOT be able to breathe pure oxygen when we gambled. We would also not be able to ski, party intimately in a house, enjoy the small ski town life, or cook for ourselves.

-Park City offers us a more relaxed vacation experience: we would be able to sit leisurely in a hot tub (it fits eight!), sipping brews as the snow fell around us. I would imagine that the nightlife in Park City during the winter is quite fun.

-Las Vegas offers us a more intense vacation experience: we would gamble, drink, and party constantly for an unspecified number of days straight. I have heard that Las Vegas nightlife is decent, as well.

So it comes down to this: relax with the bros, or party non-stop with the bros? Either way, it's a bros only vacation. At closing, the poll to the right will reflect the will of the people. When the people have spoken, our destination will be chosen (assuming feasibility). The next step is deciding whether we actually want to do this, finding a date (March 2011?), etc etc. The idea is that we make this far enough in advance so that we can all afford it, find a date that works, etc. I know this is planning and not typical, but we must do it for success' sake.

Beer Drinking 102: Drunk Blogging

Fuckin' beer ice pot motherfuckers, Bryant Lake Bowl bitches,. So bnoiw we are drunken blogging. We have ciome toi teach you a lesson about Beer Drinking 101.

If you ever go to Bryant-Lake Bowl (convenientaly located at Bryant and Lake, Southwest Minneapolis MN (and overpricwed to beat)), you will enjoy it nbut you;'ll be mkad that it cfosts as much as it does.

Also, if you start a new turn at bowling and the front (number 1 ) pin is a BLUE SPARKLY PIN tyoy win a FREE PBR TALL BOY. HAOLY FUCK!!! THAT'S SO SDWEET. We won twice.

New gan]me b eer icwe pot. Like a shot out of a ice3 shot glass except you chug as beer out of a ice beer pot insteadx.

Also, we will come to your campus on SATURDAY night and be drunker than tyou atre, smarter than tou are, and more alumni than you ar.e We will wear alum buttons and kick all of your asses at any drininmc competitioon that you challenge us at. Fucka ll yall.

We ate dubnbher tonight bitches. Fuckin pork tendferloion and aspargus. And now my piss smells. We also drank wine. And Summit Batch #2. Fuckin mystery beer ytou assholes.

JMark is a bitch. So is BK.. And Alfredo is a meji. Unless you all powst tomorrow. SepaRATELY.

P{repare yourselves for SaturdA you bitches.

Love always,

Tim and Ted

Just for you, Mark.

The whole powerpoint file is available if you email me. I can't figure out how to post a powerpoint.

Since we all know it's never too early to plan a party...

...(except if it's Tuesday and your party is on Friday).. 

WE ALSO KNOW IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY TO PLAN A PRE-GAME!! YEEHAW.

Given that Ted mentioned pre-gaming in his post, and that I am currently "funemployed" (thanks Dave), Nonberg and I have decided that I am going to compile a pre-game playlist for Friday night of alumni weekend since, well, there's nothing else to do!

So, send suggestions via comment and I will SadSteve them and make everyone happy.  And I will also entertain myself while doing so. 

There's also plenty of new music I've been listening to in my new, funemployed state of being.  So, maybe I'll post about it sometime soon.

Beer Drinking 101: Lesson 1 (Boxer Blogging)

The is the first installment of the new stadium 110 feature, Beer Drinking 101, team taught by Tim and Ted.

Lesson 1: The new toast.

"My M.O. is the new toast," says Tim (Note: M.O. are Mark's initials). So Mark Olson tonight invented a new toast (on his birthday) without even knowing or remembering it. This toast is all about efficiency.

Here are the steps:
1. Put the beer to your lips
2. Commence drinking
3. Move in for the toast
4. Clink drinking vessels, continue to drink
5. Continue to drink as long as you like

As you can clearly see, this toast is at least twice as efficient as a regular toast; the drinking begins before the toast and doesn't stop 'til you're good and drunk. Enjoy this maneuver the next time you're drinking.

Stay tuned for more Beer Drinking 101, the team taught drinking course by Tim and Ted.

P.S.: Johnny V. is a bitch (-Tim)
P.P.S.: I forgot (-Tim)
P.P.P.S.: Did we mention that we're drunk and in our boxers?
P.P.P.P.S.: Mark vomited in the Reub.
P.P.P.P.P.S.: The first drunk blog post of the term
P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: Original content bitches!