The Naked Black Man Story

I joined the YMCA at 34th and Blaisdell about two weeks ago. After reviewing the various pricing options for the YWCA, Snap Fitness, Lifetime, etc., I determined that joining the YMCA was the best choice - it's the closest, it has the best facilities (I can watch TV while I run on a treadmill), the lady that gave me and Liz a tour was awesome, and the people there are, well, interesting.

A few days after I joined, I walked into the men's locker room (18 years old and over only!), and opened up an unlocked locker to put all my clothing in. As I did, I noticed two things: 1) there was clothing in the locker, and 2) the room now reeked of marijuana.

Having put my stuff in a locker close-by, I began to change. Soon, a very tall, naked African-American male entered the "nook" I was occupying, and immediately started talking to me. His eyes were ridiculously bloodshot. The conversation went something like this:

Black Man (naked, standing): How you doin', my brotha?

Me (clothed, sitting): Uhh I'm good. Just getting ready to run.

Black Man (still naked, standing): Yo man, I've still got half a blunt left! And let me tell you, all a brotha needs when he comes here is to get in the pool. Get some cold water, get some hot water in that hot tub. That's all a brotha needs. Just chill in that water and you're good.

Me (clothed, sitting tying shoes): *chuckles* That's great, sir. Sounds pretty nice, but you gotta run too. Get your exercise.

Black Man (still naked, sitting): Nah man, I'm telling you - just chill in that water. The cold and hot. It's all you need. And I still got half a blunt left!

Me (clothed, standing ready to leave): *awkward laugh* Sounds good, sir.

Black Man (still naked, sitting): And you know what I'ma do now?

Me (clothed, still standing ready to leave): What's that, sir?

Black Man (still naked, sitting): I'ma go cruise in my Cadillac, just cruise the city. That's what I can do now. When you're my age, you can do that. I'ma just chill, cruisin' with my half a blunt.

Me (clothed, still standing ready to leave): Sounds like quite the time.

Black Man (still naked, sitting): And you know what I love to do? Cruise to little league games in my Cadillac. I just get there, talk to all the mothers, and just act a fool. I act a god damn fool. Love that shit!

Me (clothed, still standing ready to leave): *laugh* Alright I gotta go run.

Black Man (still naked, sitting): You have a good day young man. You have a good day and a good workout. Keep working hard. I wish you incredible success in any and everything that you do.

I can't make this stuff up.

Volcanoes are badass

Alaska's Mt. Redoubt, after months of seismic activity, finally erupted on Sunday. It erupted explosively 5 times in 6 hours. It sent plumes of ash 12 miles into the air. Ash is landing all over the state, forcing people to seal up their homes and cover up their cars, lest they become ash-breathing psycho mutants. It's not so great for air traffic either:

Mt. Redoubt has erupted several times before, most notably for five months in late 1989 through 1990, when its ash stopped the engines of a KLM jet in mid-flight. The plane dropped two miles before its crew could reactivate the engines.

Imagine being on that flight.

So, Redoubt is like the bane of the entire state of Alaska, and the rest of us might see some effects too. When volcanoes erupt explosively, they inject tons of aerosols (fine dust particles) into the atmosphere, and these are often light enough that they don't fall right away (some linger for as long as 3-4 years). With the help of air currents, these clouds are distributed around the globe.

This messes up the atmosphere pretty effectively: for one, the aerosols can scatter incoming solar energy and absorb terrestrial energy in a process called radiative forcing, which turns out to be the same phenomenon produced by the greenhouse gases we all know and love. For another, CFCs that we've poured into the atmosphere (but not so much any more, thanks Montreal Protocol) can start chemical reactions on the surfaces of the aerosols, speeding up ozone depletion (and getting us all a sweet tan).

One nice thing is that Redoubt's aerosols should make for pretty sunsets all around the northern hemisphere, since they scatter light pretty well. Go out and watch the sunset in the coming days, look for a characteristic purple color.

So, in sum, volcanoes are badass and they make pretty sunsets, but they're also kind of dicks.

We <3 Ted

Ted is a BAMF.
Taken from Carleton's Athletic Site:


MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. -- Senior Ted Marschall (Burnsville, Minn.) added another All-America honorable mention award to his swimming résumé after winning the consolation finals in the 400-yard individual medley at the 2009 NCAA Division III Swimming and Diving Championships. Marschall amassed 23 points in the team competition. Without the help of other teammates or relays, he is 18th out of 41 programs to score at the national meet.




I know i've been glued to my screen looking at the live results. But i'm pissed because the "live video" that is provided my MAC/ CBS isn't working and sooo... I sit at my computer and press "Last Completed Heat" about every 4 min or so...

But how 'bout them Knights? Eh? You gotta love them. And i wish I was there to cheer them/you guys on. Keep up the great work Knights! And way to go Ted!