Could you translate one section of your letter please? "...[but]now since we odont have allsasa grsh to unsult we oinly have bithces to insult."
What is 'allsasa grsh?'
I will translate and explain.
It means to say, "But now since we don't have Alyssa Hursh to insult, we only have bitches to insult."
Alyssa Hursh wrote this in THE CLAP fall term of last year:
WHY I HATE THE REC CENTER
by Alyssa Hursh
Here's the thing: I really like working out. Pounding the elliptical for an hour while watching reruns of America's Next Top Model on MTV is better than chocolate. Wikipedia says that the phenomenon of a runner's high is caused by anandamide, which has properties similar to the THC you smoked last weekend. Maybe my chemical receptors are stronger than most, but I invariably leave the gym feeling completely blissed out. Unfortunately, as of late, anandamide has been absent in my life. Why? Because I hate the Rec Center. And for solid, numerable reasons.
3. Entire Athletic Teams in the Rec at the Same Time: Swimmers, you upset me so much. Maybe you're trying to be polite by coming at 6:30 in the morning, but the only reason I go to the Rec before sunrise is to avoid working out with three dozen people. Then you refuse to re-rack your weights or put the step benches back in the dance studio. If you must work out en masse, let's see some courtesy. Cross country runners, you're just as bad. I do not need to know how low your heart rate is while you clip along on the treadmill. Neither does your friend across the room. Stop yelling your numbers at each other.
In response, at a Casa party at the end of the term, we, as a swim team, wrote this little ditty:
We never sent it, but it was found by a library staff member in a copier on 3rd libe and it was sent to the Dean of Students, and then they called Alyssa Hursh in...
Nothing ever came of it.
And the rest is history!
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