Saturday, September 12, 2009

I Know What I Did Last Summer

Today is September 12th.  This date officially marks the end of my summer - it's time to get down to business.  I can't really remember when the last time I posted was.  I just know it was a while ago.  Thus, I give you an update on this most significant of days, explaining what I have done for the past six weeks, and more importantly, what I plan to do for the upcoming months.

Sometime around July 20 I boarded a bus in Portland, ME and drove to Boston, MA where I boarded a plane to fly to Baltimore, MD where I got off a plane and boarded another one where I flew to Dallas, TX where my aunt picked me up in the airport and I boarded a car and was driven to her house.  I spent a few days in Dallas, going to cool places like the Apple Store, the Nasher Museum, Primo's,  and a place that served a lot of obscure beers (I forgot the name, but if I remember this topic I will explain why this does not matter).  

Sometime around July 23 our fellow stadium-mate John Vigeland drove the Lexus From Texas™ across the vast expanse of Texas megalopolis from Fort Worth to Dallas, and retrieved me from my aunt's house.  We drove to a hare krisha temple where we were served vegetarian Indian cuisine and only requested to donate money.  The food was delicious and we were quite full at the end of lunch.  We spent the next few days in Fort Worth meeting John's friends, going to get ice cream at Braum's, and preparing for the Great American Adventure.

On July 26, we awoke ourselves from our slumber at the early hour of 6am.  We packed the car, ate some food, and set out on our adventure by 7:30am, ready to conquer the Eastern Seaboard.  Our destination was Nashville, TN, as we had heard about an excellent blue grass jam session set to occur at 9pm that evening at the Station Inn (complete with blind banjo player!).  As we drove east from Fort Worth, we promptly got lost.  

We soon found our way back on track, set the cruise control to 75mph, and pointed the car towards Nashville.  We arrived approximately 12 hours later, enjoyed the blue grass jam sesh, local beer, and pizza, and then walked along Broadway for a bit.  Nashville is a sweet city.

Now, so as to not bore you all with a day by day description of our road trip and all that occurred, I will simply list out the next few stops because, frankly, typing out an extended description of each simply does not do the trip justice.  Check out the facebook pics if you want more.

1. Nashville, TN (already explained)
2. Marshall, NC (rafting the Pigeon, karaoke in Asheville, etc.)
3. Charlotte, NC (Halo 2 all day and laundry)
4. Richmond, VA (request further explanation)
5. Shenandoah National Park, VA (much needed respite from alcohol and civilization)
6. Washington D.C. (Elliot's pool)
7. New York City, NY (fuck the police... and the prices... and the tolls...)
8. Cherry Valley, NY (chilled in a debris hut)
9. Boston, MA (pretended to buy engagement rings, saw really cool ceramics)
10. Naples, ME (helped my parents move, rope swings, etc)

We stayed in Naples for like ten days and then went to Algonquin Park in Ontario, CA.  This drive took a long time, but the destination made the drive well worth it.  We stayed at my family's cabin for ten days and then we were off to Northfield!  We left quite early in the morning, and toyed with the idea of driving straight to Northfield (18 hours).  We would have accomplished this except for two things.  One, we got slightly lost and probably went about an hour out of our way, and two, we were detained at the U.S. border for about 45 minutes, suspected of carrying marijuana from Canada to the U.S.  I kid you not.  Let me explain:

Looking a bit scruffy, unkempt, and generally "progressive", John and I drove through Sault Ste. Marie, ON toward the American border.  We made our way onto the International Bridge, connecting Canada and the U.S. and were politely reminded by a road sign to "Smile!" because we were on camera.  We met the Border Patrol agent who politely asked for our passports.  We gave them to him, he took them into his little shack, and then told us to wait.  Another officer came out of a different building carrying a still-unidentified piece of metal equipment and strictly directed me to drive alongside him as he walked.  We were to pull into the garage bay that was open to our right.  As we pulled in, it became apparent to us that there were probably about nine other officers along with the previous two, all just chilling in this garage bay.  We were instructed to exit the car, walk to a table, and empty our pockets onto said table.

Having done so, the agent then rifled through our wallets, smelled my hat (wtf?), and the following exchange occurred:

Officer: Where are you coming from today?
Me: Algonquin Park in Ontario
Officer: Really.  Did you go to Hemp Fest?
Me: No, sir.
Officer: Were you anywhere near HempFest?
Me: No, sir.
Officer: How do you know each other?
Me: We went to school together.
Officer: What was your major?
Me: International Relations (should have said "horticulture")
John (interjects): I was studio art!
Officer: Who is the car registered to?
John: My father.
Officer: Well let's get this all straight.  This car is going to be searched completely.  If we find anything at all, you two will be headed to prison and the car will be seized.  I bet your father wouldn't be too happy about that.  So, let's make this easy.  If there's anything at all that we should know about or that you shouldn't have, tell us now.  Or else, this could get real messy.
Me:  I can't think of anything (nervous breathing, heart pumping out of body)

They search the car, and two funny instances occurred.  One, the dog freaked out at one point, clearly smelling something.  All the officers got a little excited, and it turned out that they found a box of Kashi Go Lean that we had sitting in the trunk.  Two, an officer was going through our stuff in the back seat and came across a plastic baggy full of tea leaves.  He held it up, examined it, and proclaimed, "Guys! I've found the mother lode!"

After they found nothing (phew!), we were free to go.  This, combined with taking a wrong turn later in the drive, forced us to stay at an AmericInn in Wausau, WI and drive the remaining four hours of the drive the next morning.  We arrived in Northfield on August 31, having completed 4789 miles of driving between July 26 and August 31.  Our road trip was effectively finished.

In Northfield, I helped John move in, chilled with Viveka a bunch, and just generally relaxed.  I avoided real life for twelve days, and awkwardly pretended I was in college again.  I ate at Tiny's, went to the Cow, went to the Reub, went to Ho Bro's, went to the Hideaway, ate Basil's gyro pizza (twice!), napped in Memorial while watching baseball, and tried to avoid walking around campus and being that guy.  I guess napping in Memorial sorta messed up that plan though.  Oh, I also got the new phone numbers for the yellow security phones for Memorial and Cassat.  Word.

But, all good things must come to an end and so too did my time in Northfield and my summer.  No longer can I avoid supporting myself and getting a job.  Right now, it looks as if I'll be moving to Minneapolis and working for a start-up I got involved with this summer.  Things will become a lot more clear in the coming week, and I will keep you all updated as to what is occurring.  In an ideal world, I will have solid plans at the end of this week and hopefully be moved out there by the end of the month.  Be optimistic.  

Coincidentally, the end of the month is homecoming.  I am doing my very best to make sure that I am back for that, as I would like to avoid being tarred and feathered, being banned from the blog, or having a penis drawn on my face with Sharpie.  I really want to be able to jump on Mark and Alfredo and BK while they sleep so soundly.

2 comments:

  1. Wow, those border patrols must really take pleasure in busting people. Of course they're doing their job, but they don't need to get a hard-on about a bag of tea.

    Anyway, total mileage?

    ReplyDelete