First Mate Charlie: An American Hero

You might be wondering who this First Mate Charlie character is, since he has been mentioned in the Stadium 110-blog discourse so often. Well he is a good friend of ours who often stops by to hang out. But you may not have met him yet. Hopefully sharing my own experiences and interactions with Charlie will shed some light on your ignorance.

SO I first met First Mate Charlie on the night of BK's going away party. It was a blacklight-lit situation and so his garb looked even more out of place. He introduced himself as Charlie. I filled up his beer and went on my way.

About 30 minutes later, I hear loud shouting in our hallway. I go over and take a peek at what is going on, assuming that it is either some of the freshman acting like wild animals or maybe a fight over a spilled drink. What do I see when I finally find the source of the excitement? I see my newly acquainted friend, Charlie, with a typical bro in a headlock. I walked up to the situation, with a drunken curiosity, and asked what the problem was. Charlie says" the scurvy bloke" (his words, not mine) insulted the Captain. I had no idea what was going on, but without the blacklights on him, I finally realized that he was wearing a sailor's costume (or what I thought was a costume). The boy said he was just talking about how his mixed drink had a little too much Capt. Morgans in it. Charlie quickly rebutted, "You can never have too much rum." And with that, he dropped the little Dave Matthews Band-lovin kid on the floor and whipped out a bottle of what looked like rum, but didn't have a label on it, so I couldn't tell. He handed the bottle over to me and I took a swig, quelling my fears of odorless, tasteless, and colorless drugs.

Twas incredible. For the next 45 min, Charlie, who I later found out was a First Mate of a small ship that sails the great lakes, educated me in the ways of rum and of nautical themed alcoholic beverages. It was fascinating. Admiral Nelson, Capt. Morgan, Ron Diaz, Malibu, Cruzcan, The. List. Goes. On.

And then he was gone. Up and out - just like that. Probably went to off to sail a schooner in the cannon.

Now he left me a bottle of his own rum. And like I said before, its exquisite. I love me some rum, and when you give me some cherry cola and a bottle of F.M.C., I'll be good as gold.

We hope to have a party in his honor. We want to sail the 7 seas of Rum. Pirates and Sailors. If your interested in this theme, talk to me and we'll make it happen.

So if you see someone who looks like the picture above walking around campus, just send him over to Stadium because he's probably too drunk to realize what is going on. We'll take care of him.

Also, he sometimes runs around in onesie like mine. Be on watch.

Booze Fiends

So I was reading Toto's post and it got me thinking of the "booze moochers" who constantly seem to invade our room. These "booze moochers" are not friends, but random underclassmen who travel in packs from place to place in search of free alcohol. Don't get me wrong, as an underclassman you don't have ready access to booze all the time. However, that's what friends are for. Booze moochers on the other hand, don't seem to have any friends except their fellow pack-mates. They roam from party to party opening fridges, cabinets, and other doors with complete disregard for other people's stuff.
Just recently a pack of these booze moochers found their way to stadium 110. Unfortunately the residents of Stadium were not fully capable of shunning the pests because one of them claimed to have a connection with one of our friends. Then their true colors came out. After about 10 minutes of being in our room, one of them came into the living room with one of Toto's nicer beers saying "Hey Can I have this, I just need one more" As Toto shook his head, the look of dejection on the face of the moocher seemed to convey what the rest of the pack felt, "these guys aren't going to give us anything more." After this sudden interference with their mission, the pack of booze moochers left the room.
I am not writing this post as a message of hate, but as a warning to all those who have booze in their room. Beware the moochers.

WHY?

So this post has nothing to do with Moscow, but I felt that it was time to express my frustration at the monumental fall that one of the greatest loves of my life has taken. I am referring, of course, to the 13th season of South Park.
I've been able to keep up on South Park thanks to the publication of each new show online, and I have been faithfully watching each new episode for the last few weeks.
This season has been by far the worst one of all time. Let me go by each episode I've watched so far.
Episode 1: The Ring. This episode is about Kenny and his new girlfriend and how they get purity rings because of the Jonas Brothers. The highlight of this episode is a giant, cursing Mickey Mouse spewing fire. This episode ranks in the top episodes of this season. However, it would still be one of the worst episodes in, say, season 6. Rating: 7/10
Episode 2: The Coon. Wow. This episode was a monstrous failure. It could have been hilarious, but instead it was an annoying play on Cartman's personality. The concept was great, but the execution was poor. This was the episode that I REALLY wanted to like, but didn't. 5/10
Episode 3: Margaritaville. This episode makes good points, but never seems to know what it wants to say. Good play on the Christ story. It made good points on the stupidity of wasteful spending, but in the end it doesn't quite wrap up. The method that the goverment uses to decide what to do with failing companies is quite funny. 7/10
Episode 5: Fishsticks. The best episode of this season, so far. Cartman is spectacularly horrible, and Kanye West is properly put in his place. Also Carlos Mencia is killed in a manner that I found suitable (I hate him) and the final song is an excellent parody of Kanye's music. 9/10
Episode 6: Pinewood Derby. Close. It gets off to a great start and has a great end, but the middle of the episode is too lame. Again, so much more could have been done with this concept. It isn't like South Park to have great plot ideas but to fail on filling them with humor. 7/10
Episode 7: Fatbeard. Worst South Park episode of all time. Complete failure from top to bottom. Didn't laugh once. I wondered at points if it was written by Matt and Trey. The character dialogue was based on lame, loose characterizations, the plot was uninvolving, and Cartman's dialogue was the worst I can remember. I can't believe they put this out. 1/10
Now, it is true that the majority of these episodes are 7/10. However, I have never before seen a 1/10 episode, and most previous seasons are all 8/10 or abover. This season just doesn't have the sheer humor that the others have had. Thankfully it is only half over and there is plenty of time for them to turn around. The last episode just brought it to the forefront how far South Park has fallen in the last few years.

Anyway I'm going to St. Petersburg on the night train tonight. I'll post about it when I get back Monday night.

Bacon and you

So midterm break is approaching quickly. Maybe you're thinking about participating in the Quidditch tournament. Or maybe you're going to the cheese tasting on Sunday. Or maybe, just maybe, you're planning on imbibing a wee bit. Well, the good folks here in Stadium 110 have you covered.

Some people get aggressive when they drink too much (Mark), some people hug me a lot (BK), and some people eat my damn mac and cheese (freshman chick from last week). But everyone gets hangovers. You've tried coffee, bananas, and more drinking, but none seem to do the trick. You need to try something new. Something radical. Something greasy.

That's right, you need to wake up and smell the bacon.

This blog has extolled the (numerous and highly valid) virtues of bacon before, but this time we even have science on our side.  According to a recent study done in the UK, bacon helps to speed up your metabolism, allowing your body to purge the horrible poisons more quickly.  Moreover,

"Bingeing on alcohol depletes neurotransmitters too, but bacon contains a high level of aminos which tops these up, giving you a clearer head."

So if I'm reading that right, alcohol makes you stupid, but bacon makes you smarter.  ΔIntelligence = 0.  Good to go.

So on Saturday/Sunday/Monday when you wake up with a recently vacated stomach and a head throbbing with a vague sense of guilt, head over to the frying pan and go nuts.  It's good for you.*

*probably not actually

Baseball Trivia

One of the things I like best about baseball is that there are box scores and stats kept for over a hundred years of games and there is nearly no limit to the interesting trivia that you can find.

So yesterday night Carlos Zambrano (P - CHC) was a triple shy hitting for the cycle. This of course led me to wonder if a pitcher had ever hit for the cycle. The answer is sort of a yes and no.

It turns out, that in the 286 times that a player has completed this feat, only one time has that player also pitched in the game. It happened on July 28, 1988 when Jimmy Ryan hit for the cycle in a 21-17 win over the Detroit Wolverines. Interestingly, Ryan also played for the Cubs franchise, which in 1888 was called the Chicago White Stockings. The reason that I said the answer is yes and no is that Ryan started the game in the outfield and only pitched in relief in the game, so no pitcher has ever started a game and hit for the cycle. There were also a few cases early on in the history of baseball of other players hitting for the cycle who also pitched for their teams sometimes, but no other player did it in the same game.

Getting back to Zambrano's attempt, considering he still needed the triple, he probably wasn't really as close as it seems. The triple is probably the hardest part of the cycle for about 90% of major league hitters, and certainly is for Zambrano who only has 3 triples in 507 career at-bats. This isn't a very good rate, but it could be a lot worse. I went and searched through some statistics and found the most career at-bats without a triple for any major league player. Here's the top five:

1. Johnny Estrada (2001-08) 2079 AB
2. Jason Phillips (2001-07) 1382 AB
3. Mark Parent (1986-98) 1303 AB
4. Craig Worthington (1988-96) 1234 AB
5. Ramon Castro* (1999-2009) 1114 AB

*Active this season

One more note about cycles. There have already been three cycles completed this year: Orlando Hudson on 4/13, Ian Kinsler on 4/15, and Jason Kubel on 4/17. Jason Kubel's home run was a grand slam. It was only the seventh time in the history of major league baseball that a player. The most cycles in any season was eight in 1933.

So much trivia.

textsfromlastnight.com

As a devout member of the blogosphere, I find it necessary to tout other people's blogs with the hope that maybe at some point they'll think our blog has enough original/hip content that it will be cool enough to be touted as well.

That being said, I present to you all textsfromlastnight.com. This site is much like fmylife.com, except instead of people posting anecdotes of their shitty lives, they instead submit texts they received from friends... (you guessed it!) last night. I'm sure many of you loyal readers can figure out the idea upon which these clever bloggers have latched, but if not, I will spell it out quite plainly.

The idea, of course, is that people send/say stupid things when they are drunk - they have hilarious and epic experiences and they tell everyone about them. The next morning, "hilarious" and "epic" become "embarassing" and "regrettable" for the sender of said text, but the SMS is forever proof that such ridiculous shit occurred. textsfromlastnight.com provides a means by which friends can archive friends' adventures for all the world to see. The site clearly throws the old adage "friends don't let friends reveal their embarassing texts" by the wayside.

Now, I don't believe there is any reason to think that anybody in the Ocho would ever do anything or say anything that would merit a submission to textsfromlastnight.com. However, the website does exist. And we've got big plans this weekend. It's midterm break.

I'm just sayin'...

Video Games: Because we have a big ol TV, but no cable

Now, I haven't played T.A. in a long time, but this made me think of it and made me laugh.



T.A. may have taken a backseat to Alfredo's panda power attempts at beating really fast drag racers in Need for Speed Pro Street, but I still know (in fact I really don't even know the half of it) that T.A. has a special place in Stadium 110's collective heart.

Breaking down the video game zeitgeist from the past 7 months:

• Sept/Oct/Nov - Call of Duty 4 and only Call of Duty 4 is played... Elliot is amazing, Nonberg and BK snipe, Ted plays a lot, Toto plays very little.

• Jan/Feb - Someone (I think BK) convinces Nonberg to purchase Little Big Planet. We play it all throughout dry season. Tim thinks it sucks, but than plays it and realizes its awesome. We play it until we get to a hard level with bombs and missiles, and we kinda give up. COD4 is still played consistently. Ted plays it much more often than anyone else and somewhere down the line surpasses Elliot as king of COD. We also start playing TA on a somewhat regular basis. Post swim season Elliot starts a game called Oblivion. Fight night may have been played once or twice to settle an old score between two past Casa roommates.
• ALSO CHECK OUT OFF-ROAD VELOCIRAPTOR SAFARI, IT'S AMAZING.
  

• Mar/April - Alfreddy moves in and starts playing Need for Speed Pro Street. When he drag races in a car with a panda on it, the gods smile and everyone is happy. Elliot and Nonberg plays Oblivion a lot. COD is played occasionally.

With 5 weeks left in the term, will the tides change? Will TA get played as much as it did? Will we all whip out our game boys and start playing pokemon instead?
Who knows? Honestly, as it gets nicer out, we'll probably (hopefully) be spending more time throwing around the vortex than getting vortexed into watching Elliot kill cat-begger-lion mages who give him quests and tell him about rumors.

Yet Another Typical Moscow Night

So I had a pretty great night tonight. After class, I came home, studied, did some reading, and then I went out to meet this girl that I became acquainted with a few nights ago. Nearly every aspect of my evening was an experience that could only occur in Moscow.
First, on the way to the Metro, I have to walk through a passageway that goes under the street, and there was a woman with a keyboard singing "Ave Maria." And honestly, it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard, I actually got a little choked up while I was leaving the passage.
The cafe we went to was a cozy little Italian restaurant, we had some pizza and tea and good conversation. However, the cafe closed at 11, so we had to figure out what to do next. We decided on Red Square, because I hadn't been there at night before.
So we set out for Red Square and arrived, walked out of the Metro, and to our surprise Red Square was closed off and guarded by cruise missile launchers. So I wondered if something terrible had happened on Red Square, until I realized that they were rehearsing for the May 9 Victory Day parade. At first I could hear a dull roaring, and thought it was airplanes, until I realized it was formations of soldiers shouting. We talked to a few of the soldiers guarding the proceedings (although they had tanks and cruise missiles and god knows what else), and they said that they would do this every night until May 9, so next time I won't forget my camera.
Needless to say we were unable to get into Red Square, so we walked to the Garden Ring, and saw all of the tanks and vehicles waiting to drive into Red Square. After walking for a few minutes they all turned on at the same time, and started driving. It was amazing. I can't believe I got to see that, an American at the Russian display of military strength? I could have gotten killed if I were there 25 years ago.
So we finished our walk, got on the Metro, and had our last Moscow experience of the night when we walked past a woman sprawled on the ground, looking like she was in deep trouble, possibly dead. She was being taken care of, so we kept walking. And then I got home.
I can't believe I saw Victory Day rehearsals. My parents will believe it less. Our world is so much different, it defies comprehension.

Ninja cat

It's not original, but I don't care. This just makes me so happy every time I see it.