The Naked Black Man Story

I joined the YMCA at 34th and Blaisdell about two weeks ago. After reviewing the various pricing options for the YWCA, Snap Fitness, Lifetime, etc., I determined that joining the YMCA was the best choice - it's the closest, it has the best facilities (I can watch TV while I run on a treadmill), the lady that gave me and Liz a tour was awesome, and the people there are, well, interesting.

A few days after I joined, I walked into the men's locker room (18 years old and over only!), and opened up an unlocked locker to put all my clothing in. As I did, I noticed two things: 1) there was clothing in the locker, and 2) the room now reeked of marijuana.

Having put my stuff in a locker close-by, I began to change. Soon, a very tall, naked African-American male entered the "nook" I was occupying, and immediately started talking to me. His eyes were ridiculously bloodshot. The conversation went something like this:

Black Man (naked, standing): How you doin', my brotha?

Me (clothed, sitting): Uhh I'm good. Just getting ready to run.

Black Man (still naked, standing): Yo man, I've still got half a blunt left! And let me tell you, all a brotha needs when he comes here is to get in the pool. Get some cold water, get some hot water in that hot tub. That's all a brotha needs. Just chill in that water and you're good.

Me (clothed, sitting tying shoes): *chuckles* That's great, sir. Sounds pretty nice, but you gotta run too. Get your exercise.

Black Man (still naked, sitting): Nah man, I'm telling you - just chill in that water. The cold and hot. It's all you need. And I still got half a blunt left!

Me (clothed, standing ready to leave): *awkward laugh* Sounds good, sir.

Black Man (still naked, sitting): And you know what I'ma do now?

Me (clothed, still standing ready to leave): What's that, sir?

Black Man (still naked, sitting): I'ma go cruise in my Cadillac, just cruise the city. That's what I can do now. When you're my age, you can do that. I'ma just chill, cruisin' with my half a blunt.

Me (clothed, still standing ready to leave): Sounds like quite the time.

Black Man (still naked, sitting): And you know what I love to do? Cruise to little league games in my Cadillac. I just get there, talk to all the mothers, and just act a fool. I act a god damn fool. Love that shit!

Me (clothed, still standing ready to leave): *laugh* Alright I gotta go run.

Black Man (still naked, sitting): You have a good day young man. You have a good day and a good workout. Keep working hard. I wish you incredible success in any and everything that you do.

I can't make this stuff up.

last night I got drunk and didn't put a title on this

okay so finally I got a drunk poist in.

FIrstly, I'd like to let Ted adn TOTO know that when they come visit aka bisit DC for their spring break that I will be waiting for them. I folund the perffect club for them. The place is callled DC9 and its at 9th street and E street but itrs mostly named for the 9th street part which is why its called dc9 and not DCe. ANYway, this is ht reason that the music is 9indie rock and not anythign I've ever heard of. When I went there, they played approx. 5 songs I know.
1) bonafied lovin
2) sabotage
3) no you girls
4) the reelin5
5) mgmt the reeling (maybe, oi diont know, but s0mething by the reeling, aka passion poiit
6) fuck the pain away. seriouslyt, youtube this song, but when you serach for it, serach "fuck the pain away by muppets aka ms. ipigggy. JUST MAKW SURE THAT WHEN YOU SEE IT THAT MS. PIGGY IS SINGING THE LYRICS BEAAUWEE IT IS THE MOST MESSED UP MJUSIC VIDOE THAT I HAVE IEVER SAEEN.
7nother song called "FUCK YOU" by lilly allen.
8) a song called "combination pizza hut and taco bell"
9) seriously, if you have read this far, you should really look up the song called "combination pizza hut and taco bell"

anyway, the bar/club called DC9 is the place I am takimng ted and toto to when they are visiting me for their spring break. I know Ted wil love it buecause it is all the music that he finds before anyone whos in the know knows about.

But for real, the DJ is so hipster, he doesn't even know whats good for him. I reque3sted YADA YADA YADA and he had no idea.

Acutalyl I didn't request YADA YADA YADA at all, but I hoped he would play it. INstaed he played a song called "combineation pizza hut and taco bell" that I recommend to all of ya'll.

I also recommend a s0ng called "fuck the pain away" by Ms. Piggy. There are plenty of other songs that I would recomment if you visit hte website "LIBERATION DANCE PARTY.COM" and look at their playlist. ITS ALL INDY STUFF THAT TED WOUDL LIKE. But it doesn't really have anyhting to do with ted becasue I lik eit too. Andthe grad students that I was with liked it too. ANd all the other people at the bar/club like dit too, so its definatley not just me.

Anyway. MOLSON is app[arently a beer tha tblows. Which is in high contrast to the guy called MARK OLSOn which tries to make converation with a chick in his apartment building who coincidentally does laundry at the same time as MARK OLSON. THANKFULLY for Marx's penis, the girl is really interested in the mcdonaldd's $ menu. but hte elevator music will never be their theme.

BUt seriosuyl, molson is actually a beer. My roommate was once complainging about the shitty beer that he used to drink when he wa san undergrad and he mentioned molson. Which reminds me of the time that I was a sophomore in college living in DAVIS 304 and SJOBERG aka joe sjoberg puked all over my room because he couldn't handle a power hour.

In case you couldn't tell by now, my ramble has been following Ted's example of stream of conciousoness writing. NOW that i have satisfied my blog critieesara, I figured I shoudl tell the rest of the ocho peeps that read this that I play Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 all the time on the PS3 and that my username is Strombolios.

LOVE,
yours truly