Смешной Русский Фильм

Неделя назад мы посмотрели фильм "Особенности национальной охоты," очень популярный русский фильм. Если вам скучно летом, я советую вам смотреть фильм. Это похоже, по-моему, на канадском юморе, примерно "Красный зелёный шоу." Ссылка на фильм здесь: http://www.lovi.tv/video/play.php?Code=zcksubasdr

EARTHQUAKE!

Between game-winning goals in stoppage time and my building shaking I've gotten hardly a lick of work done today. And so I thought I'd come on here to waste some more time and tell ya'll about it.

The entire summer I spent at Stanford and the other various times I visited California I kept hoping to feel an earthquake (not a big one obviously--that would be scary--but a small one to see what it's like). Today I can finally cross that one of the list of random geological events that I've experienced in my life. But surprisingly, it happened in Rochester, NY, not in California.

The quake was 5.5 magnitude, centered just north of Ontario, Canada. This is probably not all that exciting to our Californian readers, but it was pretty exciting for me. I was on the 4th floor of our building, and I could see and feel the entire building shaking for a few seconds. After the quake I trekked over to the Geology building on campus and got a shot of the seismograph there.




Apparently there are some fault lines along lake Erie and Ontario, and earthquakes like this happen every couple decades. Learn something new every day.



Anyway, I should try to get something done now. Right now its looking like the Krauts in the next round. U.S.A! U.S.A!

The Next Step In Life

So if you haven’t heard yet I recently graduated from our very own Carleton College. I took the next step in my life and entered the real world. So what did I learn…well that I can get a chemistry degree without really knowing much about chemistry and a bunch of other stuff that I’m not sure if I’ll use again. As cliché as it might seem what I enjoyed the best were my memories and my accomplishments. So what were my accomplishments while at Carleton. Well here is a list no particular order.

Joined a Varsity Sport

Went tubing in the Cannon River

Roomed with a Jew

Roomed in Stadium

Became a Captain

Played an Instrument

Made a best friend

Got drunk before 9:00am

Got drunk before 6:00am

Peed on a couch

Stole a newspaper sign

Stole a street sign

Went abroad

Wrote a paper while drunk

Tasted the rainbow

Met First Mate Charlie

Worked reunion

Those are among a few that I can think of right now. I have also come to realize as I am sure most of you have that there are only two remaining stadium residents. Mark Olson and Bkay are going to have to hold it down next year. This also means that we should start organizing our stadium reunion brocation. I really don’t care where we go as long as it’s with you guys.

The big question: In the last few months someone has asked what I am doing after Carleton more times than I wish to remember. Instead of having all you ask me I figured I’d let you all know my plans for this summer and the year to follow. I actually leave this Thursday for Mexico to visit my ranch and actually do some ranching. I’ll be there for two weeks which means I’ll get to celebrate Mexican 4^th of July while there. After I come back I will probably hang out here at home and maybe do some volunteer work for a month. Then I’m going back to Northfield at the end of August to potentially hang out with the 6^th and College house. This depends on when Mark Olson heads back as well. If anything I’ll head back to see my lady friend and then we’re taking a trip to South Dakota to visit Badlands National Park. I’m sorry I’m just not as cool as Toto who took his lady friend to Ireland, but it should still be nice. Then I actually start life. I just got hired by an Alumn named Dave Halman. I will be managing a bookstore called The Spitting Llama for him in La Paz, Bolivia. I will be doing this for 6 months to a year. Since I’m not getting paid much and tickets are expensive as hell I will not be back in the U.S. until I’m done with my job. I will keep everyone posted with my experience in Bolivia and throughout the summer, but hopefully I will get to see all of you before I leave.

What the Poll Said

This is what came up when I went to look at the poll. Google
	Error

Not Found

The requested URL /reviews/polls/display/-1263449581994894108/blogger_template/run_app?txtclr=%23000000&lnkclr=%237f7f7f&chrtclr=%237f7f7f&font=normal+normal+90%25+'Trebuchet+MS'%2C+Trebuchet%2C+Verdana%2C+Sans-Serif&hideq=true&purl=http%3A%2F%2Fstadium110.blogspot.com%2F was not found on this server.


I believe its a sign...we are meant to go to San Francisco, Corporate HQ of Google. So grab your bread and your rice-aroni and lets go! I promise to update you on my life later.

Brodonyms Beta

So reading through all of these comments gave me a brilliant fucking idea. We all know that coming up with brodonyms is a lot of fun, but it can also be a lot of work. Sometimes a bro needs to just chill and let someone else do the work for him. So I've come up with a little piece of software that does just that.

Presenting: Brodonyms Beta version 1.0. Just enter in a name, and the program will instantly return tons of possible brodonyms. Take for example the name "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt." Brodonyms tells us that a bro with that name could be nicknamed "Brohn Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt," or "John Brocob Jingleheimer Schmidt", or how about "John Jacob Brongleheimer Schmidt," or maybe even "John Jacob Jingleheimer Brodt." Wow, that's a lot of possible brodonyms, and you didn't even have to think at all. So use Brodonyms to come up with brodonyms for all your best bros, and you'll have a lot more free time to work on you biceps and abs.

The beta status does not mean that this was actually rigorously tested, but I'm pretty sure its not gonna crash your system. Also, it'll only work on Macs and Linux, and I'm not even sure it'll work on yours, all I know is that it works on mine. On Macs you should hopefully be able to just download the "Brodonyms b-1.0" file, choose open with, and choose the Terminal application which is in the Applications/Utilities folder. On Linux, I'm assuming you know how to use a Terminal and run Unix binaries. You might have to recompile the source file "brodonyms.cpp", but maybe the binary file will work too. If someone knows how to use Microsoft Visual Studio or something like that in windows, go ahead, have at the source code, and see if you can make a windows executable. I think maybe I'll write up a ReadMe/ Troubleshooting guide later.

Last English for Some Time

So this summer I'm at Middlebury doing the old Russian thing and I'm not allowed to speak English, so I'm gonna put down a few final thoughts.

First, Middlebury is beautiful. I never really considered it while doing the college search but it is in an absolutely pristine part of the country. We're surrounded by small, forested mountains, the campus is all white stone architecture, and the buildings are all very interesting.

Second, I have awesome roommates here. A quick note about the room. My room is a quad and is quite honestly way worse than any Carleton quad. The first thing that struck me about the room was the apparently useless wall that divides the entryway from the kitchen. This wall is not only useful in and of itself, but it also has a window in it. It doesn't have a common room to speak of, just the entryway, small kitchen, bathroom, 2 singles and a double. I'm living in the double with a guy who's studying Russian and IR at George Washington and is very social and outgoing. The two singles are occupied by older men. One is a foreign service officer being sent to Moscow (OMG) who just got married, he graduated from Bates and majored in Econ, I'd guess he's around 28. The other roommate may be the coolest person I've met at Middlebury so far. He's Ecuadorian, but was born in the US, and is around 40. He lived in Kansas for a time about a year and a half, but is currently in San Juan. He lived in Kazakhstan in 1990 studying Russian but his group was targeted by anti-American factions after the Gulf War broke out, so he's here fulfilling his goal of learning Russian. He worked for Microsoft on the XBox team. In short, I couldn't ask for a better set up.

There are several FBI guys learning Russian, us college students have been gossiping about them the whole time.

Third, we watched an excellent Russian film tonight called "White Sun of the Desert." It's an Eastern, or the Russian version of a Western. It's got great dialogue, it's funny, and although the action is fairly amateurish it is effective. The interesting thing about the film is that according to tradition, every cosmonaut has to watch the film before going into space. This applies to everyone who intends to go to space in a Russian vehicle. Therefore, every single astronaut for the next few years has to watch this film before going into space. It was also banned initially, but Brezhnev loved it and debanned it.

Fourth, so I took this stage combat class and our teacher filmed our final fight scene. BUT he hasn't e-mailed it to us yet, so as soon as I get it, it's going up on the blog.

So yeah, I'm surrounded by kids who basically want to do what I want to do, and it's awesome. I've been having nerdy conversations about Russian lit and history all day, and I couldn't be happier. Oh, I also live across the hall from a UPenn distance swimmer, so we're gonna go to the Natatorium and train this summer. So you better be ready for the alumni meet!

SPRING? SUMMER? GRADUATION!

So today marks the official end of the 2009-2010 academic year at Carleton. Lil Alfie graduates today. Wish I could be there, but I'm once again in the woods for the summer, delaying the end of childhood a little while longer. But, Congrats Alfreddy. Now get the hell off my campus.

This past year was wild. I looked back at the post that I wrote prior to the start of the year and I realized just how different it was than what I thought it was going to be.

First off it was the hardest year i've ever had academically. The history mini-comps DOES. NOT. MAKE. SENSE. We get 6 weeks to research and write an 30 page research paper. Next year for our 40 page comps, we get 20+ weeks. WTF?!?!?!!? It was hell and I was working on it literally until 5:01pm on the last day of finals. Whatever though, I'll never take a full course load again. I got 3 credits of comps in the fall and 9 in the winter.

Then there was Dow House. I hated living in Dow. I really liked my roommates, just not as roommates. It was a giant shitshow. It one point it was nicknamed Anarchy house, but then again it was also nicknamed Dog House, Motorcycle House, Poop House and Keg House (I'm sure the names allude to why). Food was never safe for anyone and respect was missing from the general atmosphere. Certain roommates did not clean their dishes for WEEKS. I felt like Nonberg at how angry I got at them, but it was out of hand. In the fall it led to fruitflies, in the spring it led to mold. I often did not use the kitchen after 5th week when it got crazy. It was an experience and a learning moment, and overall it wasn't that bad. But it taught me that the people you live with and the environment you live in is very important.

Other highlights/thoughts about junior year:

• Well there was my Birthday: Disaster
• I got to wine and dine with Former Prez Oden
• We kareoke-ed almost every thursday night of spring term
• I decided against the teacher licensure program at carleton
• There was all the swimming related events/issues/awesome times
• And shit... With the end of my junior year, its also the end of Sjoberg, Zutz, Sassy, ALAN, and everyone else... Damn.

It's crazy to think that the class of 09 only left one year ago. It seems like forever ago. The current freshman hear about how cool stadium was, so the idolization is still there. Mark = Nostalgic.

This post is starting to ramble. I'll move on from the past:

Right now I'm back at Camp. They keep promoting me. I'm the Teen Director/ Asst. Program Director. I'm quite excited. Did I ever tell you guys that the Executive Director of the camp shares a lot of the same qualities that Andy has?

I don't think I explained my living situation for next year yet. Well I'm living off-campus!
It's Louise, Pete, Heydinger, Brenner and I in a house at 519 College. Its a bit of a walk, but we got bikes and cars. It's two short blocks away from Econo and Northfield Liquor. It's a big house with a huge family room. I'll post pics in the fall. Brenner, Mering and some subletters are there over the summer though because they are working at Carleton. It'll be blast. I'm super pumped.

Ok. I thinks that's all I got in me now. I'm gonna do some paperwork because Staff Orientation starts tomorrow and I am helping train the noobs.

In conclusion:
-This year's two main kareoke songs were Your Love by the Outfield and Total Elipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler
-I love summer.
-Toto needs to talk about Scuba Girl and his trip to IRELAND!!!!
-Elliot: It was good to see you at Basils and that weekend!
-Alfredo: Write about your soulless job that you will do wonderfully.
-We made bowling club t-shits and they are awesome...
-I'd love to talk to you sometime over the summer and catch up. I have terrible reception but leave me a message and I'll call back when I go into town.
-AND... My boss heard about First Mate Charlie and when a bunch of us and her shared a beer on the last night before the summer season started, she said she was going to call me that when I got a little crazy.


MOLSON OUT.

Icing a Bro

Unoriginal content for sure, but we've been slacking on the blog, and frankly, I think the concept of "Icing" is hilarious.

The idea:

You can approach a bro and give them a Smirnoff Ice. When this is done, the bro must go down on one knee and chug, no questions asked. If an "Icing" is refused, the bro is excommunicated and shunned for life, never to Ice or Be Iced (or talked to) again.

A bro can shield against an Icing by producing their own Smirnoff Ice when an Ice attempt is made. This acts as an "Ice shield" and stops the Icing from occurring.

Icing may happen anywhere at any time. Icings can get creative, and that's where the beauty lies. The website further explains the creative potential. If Iced, one must abide and chug, else risk the consequences. Bros can chant "You got Iced" if an Icing occurs as the Iced one imbibes the Icy beverage.

Read up.

Best of the Net 2.0

IT'S BACK! YAY Stumble Upon and infinite procrastination fun.

Let's Jump Right In:

Scary Implications?
Remember the Times Square bomber? Check this out: Was the US military involved in a domestic law enforcement?

Why I Like Cities (cuz you don't see enough of this weird shit in towns like Northfield)
Artist/ Social Disruptor puts up these signs all around NYC

Can you imagine living during this time? Or in this place?
Camouflage tarps over towns/factories/ airports to prevent them from being bombed

Remember LOL Cats?
I didn't know these people made a whole network of sometimes hilarious, mostly low-culture waste of my time funny pages. But there are tons.

The next step towards Terminator?
First they are making their own discoveries, then their own judgments...

This lady is kidna weird...
It's a little fucked up story about a little chipmunk.

Follow the Money!
Interesting breakdown of corporations' political contributions by party.

I want to go to space...
Possibly the coolest space photo ever in my opinion. Imagine going that fast and riding a spaceship and seeing this.


Over and out.

Four things

Hi fellas. Four things.
1. Renaissance Mark Olson. This Saturday, I awoke to an email addressed to “Renaissance Mark Olson.” I assumed this was the Mark Olson we all know and love, and that he had undergone a transformation from the capricious and diabolical “Scourge of the Midwest” to a more understanding, balanced persona. Soon the haze of sleep cleared, however, and I realized this would be like the eagle deciding not to fly, the salmon deciding not to spawn, or the chupacabra deciding not to eat any more goats. (are there chupacabras on the Guzman ranch?) I took a closer look at the email, and it seems I’ve become a part of the budgetary discussions involving some group paying this guy for his “speaking services.” This is horrendously boring (and I probably should not post the actual email), but I learned two cool things: a PhD speaking about farming can command fees of $100/hour, and only ~10% of that needs to be actual speaking. Nifty. Said Mark, “could this be a look into the future?”

2. Space poop. If you’re like me, you’ve spent a lot of time doing two things: thinking about space and pooping. You’ve also probably wondered how astronauts poop. Wonder no more.

Two beautiful things about this video: The climax in the music when the toilet hole illuminates, and the way they talk about “positional alignment” and “docking.”

3. Blame it on the pop. I like this, and I imagine Senor Nonberg would as well. It’s a mashup of all of the 25 top pop songs (Billboard) from 2009.


4. Specter v Sestak tomorrow. Who should I vote for? The attack ads I’ve been seeing lately are impressive, to say the least.

5. Okay, five things actually. A few weeks ago they had a concert here on our version of the Bald Spot (Hub Lawn). It was free, and the bands were pretty good: Titus Andronicus (maybe you’ve heard “A More Perfect Union”?), State Radio, Fabolous, and, most importantly, Matt and Kim. I may be biased because my only association with their music is happy mornings in Stadium, but they were VERY fun to watch. They may not be the most musically talented performers in the world, but they more than make up for it with their enthusiasm (they’re just so damn happy), catchiness, and the enthusiasm of their (admittedly mostly hipster) fans. Said my coworker, “Watching Kim was… a religious experience.” My favorite part was when she would jump up on top of her drum kit and play the bass drum by stomping on it. If you ever get a chance to see them, you should do it.