The Naked Black Man Story

I joined the YMCA at 34th and Blaisdell about two weeks ago. After reviewing the various pricing options for the YWCA, Snap Fitness, Lifetime, etc., I determined that joining the YMCA was the best choice - it's the closest, it has the best facilities (I can watch TV while I run on a treadmill), the lady that gave me and Liz a tour was awesome, and the people there are, well, interesting.

A few days after I joined, I walked into the men's locker room (18 years old and over only!), and opened up an unlocked locker to put all my clothing in. As I did, I noticed two things: 1) there was clothing in the locker, and 2) the room now reeked of marijuana.

Having put my stuff in a locker close-by, I began to change. Soon, a very tall, naked African-American male entered the "nook" I was occupying, and immediately started talking to me. His eyes were ridiculously bloodshot. The conversation went something like this:

Black Man (naked, standing): How you doin', my brotha?

Me (clothed, sitting): Uhh I'm good. Just getting ready to run.

Black Man (still naked, standing): Yo man, I've still got half a blunt left! And let me tell you, all a brotha needs when he comes here is to get in the pool. Get some cold water, get some hot water in that hot tub. That's all a brotha needs. Just chill in that water and you're good.

Me (clothed, sitting tying shoes): *chuckles* That's great, sir. Sounds pretty nice, but you gotta run too. Get your exercise.

Black Man (still naked, sitting): Nah man, I'm telling you - just chill in that water. The cold and hot. It's all you need. And I still got half a blunt left!

Me (clothed, standing ready to leave): *awkward laugh* Sounds good, sir.

Black Man (still naked, sitting): And you know what I'ma do now?

Me (clothed, still standing ready to leave): What's that, sir?

Black Man (still naked, sitting): I'ma go cruise in my Cadillac, just cruise the city. That's what I can do now. When you're my age, you can do that. I'ma just chill, cruisin' with my half a blunt.

Me (clothed, still standing ready to leave): Sounds like quite the time.

Black Man (still naked, sitting): And you know what I love to do? Cruise to little league games in my Cadillac. I just get there, talk to all the mothers, and just act a fool. I act a god damn fool. Love that shit!

Me (clothed, still standing ready to leave): *laugh* Alright I gotta go run.

Black Man (still naked, sitting): You have a good day young man. You have a good day and a good workout. Keep working hard. I wish you incredible success in any and everything that you do.

I can't make this stuff up.

last night I got drunk and didn't put a title on this

okay so finally I got a drunk poist in.

FIrstly, I'd like to let Ted adn TOTO know that when they come visit aka bisit DC for their spring break that I will be waiting for them. I folund the perffect club for them. The place is callled DC9 and its at 9th street and E street but itrs mostly named for the 9th street part which is why its called dc9 and not DCe. ANYway, this is ht reason that the music is 9indie rock and not anythign I've ever heard of. When I went there, they played approx. 5 songs I know.
1) bonafied lovin
2) sabotage
3) no you girls
4) the reelin5
5) mgmt the reeling (maybe, oi diont know, but s0mething by the reeling, aka passion poiit
6) fuck the pain away. seriouslyt, youtube this song, but when you serach for it, serach "fuck the pain away by muppets aka ms. ipigggy. JUST MAKW SURE THAT WHEN YOU SEE IT THAT MS. PIGGY IS SINGING THE LYRICS BEAAUWEE IT IS THE MOST MESSED UP MJUSIC VIDOE THAT I HAVE IEVER SAEEN.
7nother song called "FUCK YOU" by lilly allen.
8) a song called "combination pizza hut and taco bell"
9) seriously, if you have read this far, you should really look up the song called "combination pizza hut and taco bell"

anyway, the bar/club called DC9 is the place I am takimng ted and toto to when they are visiting me for their spring break. I know Ted wil love it buecause it is all the music that he finds before anyone whos in the know knows about.

But for real, the DJ is so hipster, he doesn't even know whats good for him. I reque3sted YADA YADA YADA and he had no idea.

Acutalyl I didn't request YADA YADA YADA at all, but I hoped he would play it. INstaed he played a song called "combineation pizza hut and taco bell" that I recommend to all of ya'll.

I also recommend a s0ng called "fuck the pain away" by Ms. Piggy. There are plenty of other songs that I would recomment if you visit hte website "LIBERATION DANCE PARTY.COM" and look at their playlist. ITS ALL INDY STUFF THAT TED WOUDL LIKE. But it doesn't really have anyhting to do with ted becasue I lik eit too. Andthe grad students that I was with liked it too. ANd all the other people at the bar/club like dit too, so its definatley not just me.

Anyway. MOLSON is app[arently a beer tha tblows. Which is in high contrast to the guy called MARK OLSOn which tries to make converation with a chick in his apartment building who coincidentally does laundry at the same time as MARK OLSON. THANKFULLY for Marx's penis, the girl is really interested in the mcdonaldd's $ menu. but hte elevator music will never be their theme.

BUt seriosuyl, molson is actually a beer. My roommate was once complainging about the shitty beer that he used to drink when he wa san undergrad and he mentioned molson. Which reminds me of the time that I was a sophomore in college living in DAVIS 304 and SJOBERG aka joe sjoberg puked all over my room because he couldn't handle a power hour.

In case you couldn't tell by now, my ramble has been following Ted's example of stream of conciousoness writing. NOW that i have satisfied my blog critieesara, I figured I shoudl tell the rest of the ocho peeps that read this that I play Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 all the time on the PS3 and that my username is Strombolios.

LOVE,
yours truly

Bathroom Blogging

So here I am sitting in the room where I do the most of thinking and realizing that none of us has ever blogged while on the can. So here it is.

My day was relatively uneventful; I went to school, went to work, did some homework, and am now sitting on the toilet. Now I know this is not the most exciting post ever, but it is a first for someone actually writing while taking a poop.

I just wanted to share.

The Bi-Annual Undie Run

All colleges have their traditions. Some traditions don't involve drinking, most of them do. Chapman University's Bi-Annual Undie run is no exception to this rule of thumb. As a newly enrolled student, as well as the recent boy friend of an undergrad, I felt it was important to participate in this event, and more importantly, to blog about my experience.

First, a little background about the event. The bi annual skivey extravaganza happens during finals week of both the fall and spring semester. The event is very similar to the "scream" at Carleton in that it is meant to reduce stress and anxiety about one's approaching finals.

So, at midnight, thousands of students gather in center of campus dressed in their finest pair of underwear. (Yes the girls too). At 12:01 one begins to hear the chant of "undie run, undie run, undie run" get louder and louder. At roughly 12:05 the massive hoard runs down the streets of downtown orange (blocked off to traffic by police for the event". ) The streets themselves are lined with residents cheering on the half nude masses.

After the event they have a giant dance in the gym. This isn't just your average sayles dance. This is a human-pyramid, giant video screen playing, underwear clad dance palooza. The dance is as if "Like a Prayer" came on and was left on repeat until 3am. Here are some pictures to give you all an idea.

Ultimate Lax Bro, Bra.

Because posting unoriginal content is apparently kosher now, I submit to you all "Ultimate Lax Bro", the YouTube video chronicles of a day in the life of Brantford Winstonworth, the Ultimate Lax Bro! If you've already seen it, sorry. I think it's funny.

"Got some skeet stains, I tell my hoes, machine wash warm, tumble dry low, bitchhhh”

Not worth watching the whole thing... But its significant to note that the onesie fad is growing.

LMFAO rips off MSTRKRFT?

So I was listening to some MSTRKRFT remixes on Sad Steve and in one of them I came across a beat that seemed very familiar. Take listen to the "Element of Danger" MSTRKRFT remix (2006) on Sad Steve and decide whether you think LMFAO's song "I'm in Miami" sounds like they just stripped down the beat added a few chirps and then rapped over it? This isn't really a horrible thing; there's been tons of sampling and recycling going on in hip-hop, rap, and electronic music for a long time. I think it just gets to the reason why I could never totally get into LMFAO. There's no originality; it's just catchy club beats with womanizing lyrics.

Anyway you should all check out MSTRKRFT on Sad Steve. I'm not a a huge fan of their original compositions (though "Heartbreaker" with John Legend is really good), but their remixes are generally original (not just the same song with a club beat) and catchy. The D.A.N.C.E. remix is great.

Stadium 110/The Ocho: A Mistake? A Loveable Bastard Child?

I spent my evening yesterday enjoying homemade pizza, good conversation, and a game of Mad Gabs (!) with a few other Carls in St. Paul. It was an enjoyable evening and I left feeling full and content. One of the most notable occurrences of the evening was when one person commented that all of the "Stadium 110 Boys" love each other so much. That being the case, I did not deny it. However, since I am funemployed and have plenty of time to think, I thought about said assertion for a quite a while. What I will now speak of is what I concluded:

The Ocho was a Loveable Bastard Child, a Cherished Mistake, a serendipitous rooming situation, a fortuitous outcome from a confluence of (at the time) not-so-fortuitous events. Our 2008-2009 school year would not have happened as we know it but for a series of individual events that occurred and that because of which we are better off (does this count as a hanging preposition?).

As you all may recall, we entered room draw as a fragmented set out eight. If I remember correctly, Mark, Ted, and Elliot wanted to live together. John and I wanted to live together. Nonberg, BK, and Toto were planning on living together. We all are vying for Sevy, and planning on combining groups as was sensible at the time. While many enter senior year room draw with a battle-plan and a sure idea of what would happen, we "hadn't the foggiest". We weren't really helped by the draw either, as group after group snatched up Sevy quads and quints, and we were left scrambling.

John and I would not have even been at room draw had John not decided to go off campus winter term. As you may recall, John and I were about "this close" to living above Erbert and Gerbert's. Had that happened, there would have been Six. Maybe Stadium 202 would have occurred (is that the Sextet?). But, where would Alfredo have fit in all of that? We'll never know.

What if one of the Sevy rooms had been open? I believe they are almost exclusively quads. Nonberg had the lowest number, so he would have drawn BK and Toto and... who else? That would have left me, John, and two of Elliot, Ted, and Mark. I have a feeling Mark would have been fucked because, well, he was a freshman and in his words he "didn't really have any say at all" because of that. If Nonberg had opted for Sevy, John and I had taken Erbs and Gerbs, that would have left presumably two of Ted, Elliot, and Mark out in the cold. Elliot and Ted had terrible numbers. Burton double?

When Elliot, John, and I were picking our triple, we picked 203 almost randomly. I remember standing there and being like "Oh, which is bigger? Hmm I don't know. Okay we'll take 203." Surprisingly, we didn't think about proximity to 110 at the time, and to this day, I'm not sure why. Furthermore, we must consider that Stadium 110 dropped incredibly low in the draw. It should not have gone that late. Those triples usually go fairly quickly too. Yet, they didn't. Was it meant to be?

So many things occurred senior year that would simply be unthinkable without the existence of The Ocho. We didn't plan The Ocho. The Ocho was a mistake. Yet it was the best year of our college lives. Funny how that works, right?

Sober blogging

Hey guys. I think it's my turn to do one of those "It's been too long posts."

I got a chance to catch up with some of you, but there are still lots of things for me to blog about, so I'm just going to go James Joyce stream-of-consciousness on this bitch.

Like Mark, I've been thinking about the decade we just left behind. I actually thought about doing a post a month and a half ago but decided it was too soon. Now it's too late. Oh well.

Anyway. I think we'll all remember the Aughties better, or differently at least, than any other decade in our lives. After all it was the decade in which we lived the most formative part of our lives. I know it shaped my worldview quite a bit.

To me the 90's feel like a decade of comfort. And when you look back on them they certainly were pretty simple and comfortable. The 00's on the other hand were clearly pretty turbulent and, I want to say, complex. 9/11, two wars, two recessions, global warming, Katrina, we all know the stories. In many ways, things really went south in the Noughts. But I certainly had many good times in the past decade as well, so I have a lot of mixed feelings about the decade. Also, the 2000's saw the rise of the internet, which, while it was certainly around in the 90's, but not like it is today, not as ubiquitous. In general this has been a good thing, though sometimes more ambivalent. (Sidenote: those Evony ads have gotten pretty ridiculous haven't they?)

I was thinking about signs of the decade to come. I thought it would be interesting in the theme of the whole Father-Time/Baby-New-Year thing to look at the notable deaths at the end of each decade (babies generally don't do anything notable, so births probably wouldn't give any insight).

In December 1999, there was Scatman John and just 33 hours before the year 2000 oldest living person Sarah Knauss. The death of Scatman John was truly saddening and probably marked the end of nineties music, oh how I loved thee. And could it have been an omen of things things to come that the oldest living person didn't hang around to see the new millennium? Maybe, but probably not, 119 is really fucking old.

In December 2009 there was evangelist Oral Roberts, wide-receiver Chris Henry, and actress Brittany Murphy. I have no idea what these mean.

I've sort of lost my train of thought. This is what comes out when I try to do stream of consciousness. I don't think I'm doing it right. I was going to also include some life updates, but I've been writing long enough.. I'll have to post again soon.

Drunk Blogging 201: The ultimate Drunk Blog

How many of us are in grad school; the answer is a lot.

Right now I am at my gf's house at an undergrad party....I am mot sober. This is a curcuial fact in what is happening in my life right now. Whereas many of my firneds here like to think they are cooller than anyone else by not partying with undergrads, I embrace it. I heard Ted and Tim were nto at calreotn today..what bitches..............that's a lot of periods........i can't believe how drunk i am....i lvoe tim and ted so much... Iwish I was in the ocho. oke bye