The Naked Black Man Story

I joined the YMCA at 34th and Blaisdell about two weeks ago. After reviewing the various pricing options for the YWCA, Snap Fitness, Lifetime, etc., I determined that joining the YMCA was the best choice - it's the closest, it has the best facilities (I can watch TV while I run on a treadmill), the lady that gave me and Liz a tour was awesome, and the people there are, well, interesting.

A few days after I joined, I walked into the men's locker room (18 years old and over only!), and opened up an unlocked locker to put all my clothing in. As I did, I noticed two things: 1) there was clothing in the locker, and 2) the room now reeked of marijuana.

Having put my stuff in a locker close-by, I began to change. Soon, a very tall, naked African-American male entered the "nook" I was occupying, and immediately started talking to me. His eyes were ridiculously bloodshot. The conversation went something like this:

Black Man (naked, standing): How you doin', my brotha?

Me (clothed, sitting): Uhh I'm good. Just getting ready to run.

Black Man (still naked, standing): Yo man, I've still got half a blunt left! And let me tell you, all a brotha needs when he comes here is to get in the pool. Get some cold water, get some hot water in that hot tub. That's all a brotha needs. Just chill in that water and you're good.

Me (clothed, sitting tying shoes): *chuckles* That's great, sir. Sounds pretty nice, but you gotta run too. Get your exercise.

Black Man (still naked, sitting): Nah man, I'm telling you - just chill in that water. The cold and hot. It's all you need. And I still got half a blunt left!

Me (clothed, standing ready to leave): *awkward laugh* Sounds good, sir.

Black Man (still naked, sitting): And you know what I'ma do now?

Me (clothed, still standing ready to leave): What's that, sir?

Black Man (still naked, sitting): I'ma go cruise in my Cadillac, just cruise the city. That's what I can do now. When you're my age, you can do that. I'ma just chill, cruisin' with my half a blunt.

Me (clothed, still standing ready to leave): Sounds like quite the time.

Black Man (still naked, sitting): And you know what I love to do? Cruise to little league games in my Cadillac. I just get there, talk to all the mothers, and just act a fool. I act a god damn fool. Love that shit!

Me (clothed, still standing ready to leave): *laugh* Alright I gotta go run.

Black Man (still naked, sitting): You have a good day young man. You have a good day and a good workout. Keep working hard. I wish you incredible success in any and everything that you do.

I can't make this stuff up.