An Important... and Hilarious PSA

Life in Siberia

Greetings from Siberia! As some of you may have noticed, I’ve been posting my day-to-day experiences and impressions in my own blog, BK in the Borderlands. Of course, that does not mean that I intend to forsake Stadium 110 in any way. Instead, Stadium 110 will be my unofficial blog, charting what life is like for a young American male in Siberia. Instead of discoursing about my research or typically Russian experiences, it is here that I will rant about my lack of Internet, rave about the gorgeous Russian and Buryat women, and of course, muse about drinking. Among other things.

So first, my rant about no Internet. It sucks. I have to either go to the University to use it, and it has been down more than half of the times I’ve tried, so I’ve had to go to a Café to pay for it. Pay for it! What the hell? In the US, I can go to McDonald’s or Starbucks if I want Internet. That’s the first rant. I can live for a while without my own connection to the Internet, but in the middle of a season of Breaking Bad... it’s rough. Fortunately I stocked up on other shows before I left. I finished Mad Men, and Season 4 rocked. Then I watched Cowboy Bebop, and it’s as depressingly short as Firefly. If you haven’t checked out Cowboy Bebop, do so now. It’s a sci-fi anime about a group of bounty hunters (cowboys) on a spaceship called the Bebop. It’s pure noir and has some fantastic writing, animation, and the soundtrack is unmatched in animated television, as far as I know. Upon finishing that, I watched The Walking Dead, which was a lot better than I expected. AMC just makes good TV. I’ve also been watching Sealab 2021 intermittently throughout these series, which is great, but not up to par with Frisky Dingo, at least so far. Now I’ve started The Pacific, which has been rather disappointing so far. Maybe it’ll get better. I’d much prefer to be watching Russian movies and shows, but without Internet, I’m stuck in English. It’s a pity that I spend all day speaking Russian and then I come home and have to return to English. I also wish I could use Skype. International texts aren’t bad, but calls are another story. I haven’t spoken with anyone from the States in over 2 weeks, which is the longest I’ve ever been in the dark. I also miss football. I got onto ESPN earlier today and saw that the Packers were about to win the season opener, but I’d prefer to watch. It’s also weird that the Thursday night game is on at noon on Friday for me. Internet here is also slow as hell. I hope that when I get an apartment my speeds pick up a little, but it’ll probably take at least a day to download an episode of Breaking Bad. Even my neighbors from China think that the Internet here is strangely slow. Russia probably just hasn’t gotten around to building a good cable out here. Ah, I miss representative government. Even tho the US congress is failing in every possible way right now, our form of representative government has allowed us to build quality roads in every state, even places like Wyoming, North Dakota, and Alaska. You can also get fast Internet there too. Infrastructure here just seems like it was done as an afterthought, out of necessity. I guess this will likely be another topic of my rants: the Russian government.

Ok, so I got the Internet rant out. My anger at the Russian government is probably just still building, I remember 2 years ago it took a month or two before it hit me just how awfully the government runs this country. I’ve read before that there is just no strong sense of community in Russia, but I disagree with that. In the US, our sense of community is built through churches and the political process. In Russia, people band together for a common cause. A major reason that the Soviet Union pulled out of Afghanistan was that a huge group of mothers of lost soldiers banded together against the war. Last week, I volunteered at a building that is being restored to be a home for orphans and invalids. There were several community organizations present. In Buryatia, family celebrations are huge. If hundreds of people will flock to a birthday party or wedding, I think at least thirty would also band together to volunteer or form a political coalition. It isn’t the community at fault here. It is a government that is afraid to allow communities to have any say.

What else... The girls here are pretty. And very friendly. Being the only foreigner who speaks Russian well is a plus. Being an American is another plus. Among the people I know, I haven’t met a single person who has expressed hostility at the United States. I’ve heard some frustration about recent American economic struggles, but each time it’s been prefaced by an acknowledgement that current American difficulties are due to the government, not American citizens (a lot of that reaction is probably due to the general Russian’s relationship with the government). But more on this topic when I have more experiences with it.

Finally, drinking. I’ve grown to be a beer guy over the last few years. I think the American microbrewery system is unmatched in the world. In Russia, beers are either domestic (not very many, and mostly crap) or imported from Czechoslovakia or Germany. I can generally find bottles of New Castle, Corona, Heineken, but draught beers are usually Czech or German. I miss American bars. Being able to get a good IPA or porter is a privilege that we in America often don’t realize that we have (both because most Americans choose between Coors and Bud and think that they’re a refined drinker if they like Guiness). The bar that I go to most often here has about 6 beers on tap. I usually get Cernovar, which is a Czech dark beer that I would surmise is just a cheap porter (it’s way too sweet). They also have Asahi (Asahi is everywhere here), Kronenburg, and a few others that I can’t remember right now. It’s funny that I can’t remember, because Ken, Mering, and me almost won trivia night at the Cow because we could name every single beer on tap. In terms of hard alcohol, it’s pretty standard. I got into scotch this last year thanks to one of my roommates, and the only decent scotches that they have here are Chivas Regal and Johnny Walker. Vodka is really the only outstanding drink here, except for Samogon (moonshine), but Samogon is more of a tourist thing anyway. Really, I should be glad that it’s so difficult to drink well here, cuz I should save my money anyway. Sure, if I spend more than 10 dollars on food a day, I’ve probably eaten too much, but alcohol drains the wallet quickly. The only night that I’ve really gotten drunk was at a birthday party for one of my friend’s moms. I was the token American. A friendly old Buryat gentleman took it upon himself to explain to me everything that was going on and fill my shot glass every 5 minutes. By the end of the night, the toasts were flying and I was struggling to keep up. But it was excellent company. Russian drinking is different from American drinking in that it is almost always done as a celebration, and each drink is a toast. The more toasts that there are, the more things there are to be thankful for. It’s a slightly different mentality than Stadium 110. However, it is my goal to have some of the English students over to my apartment (when I find one) a few times to show them American traditions. Stadium 110 will be included.

Well, I miss you guys. If we ever want to truly have a Stadium 110 reunion, perhaps we should start planning now. I return home at the end of June. We should at least get together before the end of the world...

"How I Spent My Summer Vacation" Pt. 4

THE FINAL CHAPTER
I spent summer 2011 in the woods at a YMCA Summer Camp. Now I've spent several of my summers at camp and talked about camping several times before. But this post will be a bit different, because this summer... I was in charge.

Poppin' these bottles

As I sit here and listen to the wise words of Wiz Khalifa "sayin' yeah", two things come to mind: 1) I love songs like "Say Yeah" and "Right Round" (by Flo Rida) because they inspire me to work hard so that one day I might have the ability to "throw that money in the air" or be able to "look at my Cartier" and realize its out of control, and 2) the last time I really, truly listened to the song "Say Yeah" was when we were all around for Spring Concert this past May. Needless to say, I miss you bros. There's already some whispers of planning going around for the Thursday before alumni weekend, and of course you are all invited to crash at the pad and debauch both yourselves and Uptown (or downtown) Minneapolis.

That said, thinking of the last time we all chilled makes me realize that a whole hell of a lot has changed in my life since we all last saw each other, and thus probably spoke, and therefore it's time for a LIFE UPDATE BLOGPOST.

After May, I continued to foreclose (with little shame) on the mortgages of the less fortunate until two days after July 4th. Then, inspired by the celebrations of America's independence, I too emancipated myself from the tyranny of a bank too big to fail, and within a week rushed off to Peru for what turned out to be the trip of a lifetime.

Peru deserves a post, or six, in itself, and that too shall come when I finally have the 3000 pictures that were taken by my family during the 2.5 weeks that we were in South America. However, I will give you a bit of a teaser (as I know you all await that post with bated breath). Basically, due to a combination of extremely good fortune and my mother's occupation as a minister, my family went to Peru to bond, explore Incan ruins, and generally chill out for a little over half a month.

My sister's previous travels had introduced her to a legit, real life, Incan medicine man who subsequently over the past 8 years has become one of her best friends. His family, native Quechuan (they still speak Quechua before Spanish!), basically guided us around Cuzco for the time we were there. While we hit up the ruins of Machu Picchu, Sacsayhuaman, Tambomachay, Pisaq, others, rode horseback through the mountains surrounding Cuzco, climbed Huayna Picchu, the highlight was our five day trek to Choquequirao.

Choquequirao is now what Machu Picchu was fifty years ago (but much larger in area) - discovered, not really accessible, only partially uncovered, minimally excavated. It's a site so little-visited that you can encounter things that literally have not seen daylight for 500 years. This place is unbelievable, and to be led by four guides who saw the trek we took as a religious pilgrimage was an absolutely insane experience. My family was incredibly lucky to get to experience such a trip, and I'm still amazed we got to go. Highlights of Choquequirao included swimming in the Apurimac River, riding horses through river valley/desert, camping on the farmland of sustenance farmers that are a two day hike from civilization (no electricity, running water, etc... eye-opening to say the least), the stars, and the food we had. I will flesh this all out with a later post, as promised, including pictures and whatnot. The scenery was absolutely unbelievable.

So, I got back from Peru on July 30, unpacked my dirty hiking clothes and Chacos that night, packed my dress shirts, suit, and tie the next morning, and flew to Chicago. From O'Hare, I was driven to The Q Center where I experienced a two-week crash course in learning to be a consultant. With class topics ranging from learning the consulting process to interviewing skills and business etiquette, I felt sufficiently confused at the end of the two weeks and really had no idea what I was getting myself into. After class each day, we all played beach volleyball and basketball, ate dinner (a dining hall! like college! except way better food!), and then usually went to The Clubhouse (the training center's bar). It was like adult summer camp, but I learned a ton!

Twelve days after arriving, I left - a changed man - somewhat ready to begin my consulting career. The weekend past, and I was in the office at 8:15am Monday morning, ready to meet my boss and begin work. The work I'm doing is interesting - consulting is basically an entire industry built on selling the brains of people to other companies. When a specific company wants help in doing something that has to do with business (anything, actually - a "business problem"), they can call a consulting company and the firm will send people who are experts in that situation to help - all for a fee! I work in under the umbrella of financial advisory, helping with things like operations efficiency, project management, optimizing processes, etc. I am (obviously) still learning, but it's suited to me. I will get to put my hands in lots of different industries as the years pass, and thus gain a ton of experience. I'm excited about all this. I know this explanation is vague, but whenever we see each other or chat I can elaborate.

So that brings us to present day. As I said, a lot has changed since May - new (interesting!) job, crazy trip to Peru, and (I forgot!) I also moved into a new apartment. Y'all better come see it in October.

"How I Spent My Summer Vacation" Pt. 3

Ok, so I'm going to backtrack a little bit. My last post was about my last few weeks before becoming a college graduate. This post is about some trips that happened in that time period, but deserve their own post. Both trips were to Seattle and both were pretty amazing - albeit for very different reasons. First, my trip to the Sasquatch Music Festival, then my trip to Joe's Memorial Service. Westward, ho!

"How I Spent My Summer Vacation" Pt. 2

THE FINAL PUSH
I've been joking with friends and family that I feel like I've had a sleep deficit since Rotblatt. And that's because from Rotblatt to Graduation, I was sincerely trying to milk Carleton for all its worth. I slept very little, but I think I truly lived up those last weeks on Campus. So without further ado, lemme share some highlights from Rotblatt, Spring Concert, Senior Week, and Graduation.

"How I Spent My Summer Vacation" Pt. 1

For me, Summer is officially over. Last Saturday, I finished my job as Summer Camp Program Director and am back in my hometown for some R&R until my new position starts in 12 days. For the first time since May, I can take a deep breath, relax, and slow my pace down to something more humane.

Although Carleton’s graduation wasn’t until mid-June, my summer felt like it officially started in May with my trip out west to the Sasquatch Music Festival. I want to go back further however and reflect on my senior spring term, as well as some of the awesome things I got to experience in the last 4 or 5 months. So, without further ado. Let’s start my “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” series with a recap of my Senior Spring Term.

The Colbert Superpac

If you've watched the Colbert Report recently, you may know that Colbert has started a SuperPAC, The Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow PAC. He has been accepting donations from viewers for this PAC, but hasn't stated any real purpose for the PAC. Well, Colbert has recently released 2 ads in Iowa, encouraging viewers to vote for Rick Parry (yes, with an A). These two ads are nothing short of amazing. I think we'll all recognize the "corn" music playing in the second ad.





However, media reaction to these ads has been equally interesting. Of particular note, I'd like to draw your attention to MSNBC's Lawrence O'Donnell. These two segments can be seen here and here. Now, at first glance, O'Donnell's reaction to Colbert is confusing. He is a liberal commentator for a "liberal" news network, and he has also been on the Colbert Report. So how can he possibly not get these ads? Is Colbert really doing something sinister?

I found a plausible answer while reading the comments on MSNBC. Several viewers are of the opinion that O'Donnell is merely doing the same thing that Colbert is doin: acting. If he is "pulling a Colbert," if you will, I suddenly have a lot more respect for O'Donnell. I wasn't sure what to expect from the Colbert Super PAC, but now I can't wait to see what he does next.

Summer Fun

This has been a busy/interesting summer. I graduated. I worked at a Swim Camp in California near San Francisco (not naming names because of what I'm going to write about it below). I just finished Fulbright Orientation, now I'm going from Carleton grad to Carleton grad, and then I have a month before I fly to Ulan-Ude!

How Typical Are You?!?!

From Nat Geo: